Finite Life
by Dalxein
Summary: Naruto, possessing the final Bijuu, was hunted down by Akatsuki only to have his mind pushed back one month by Kyuubi repeatedly to correct his mistakes. Seeing no way out, he spent his days perfecting a jutsu to send him back even further... -NaruHarem-
1. Temporal Jetlag

NEW FIC! YAAAY!

Or 'booo' if you happen to be one of the people looking forward to me updating my other fics, or otherwise spending time on things I should… anyway…

I don't own Naruto. If I did, you would know. And trust me, I'd publish Icha Icha myself with the money I'd get from the manga. Come to think of it… I'm a damned pervert, aren't I?

(Now all I need is godly expertise in Ninjutsu, another thirty years on me, and a hot spring to peep on and POOF! JIRAIYA!)

-cough- anyway, I hope you like this new fic. It might get a little complicated, but trust me, it should be worth the wait until everything's explained. After reading so many time-travel Naruto fics, I had to do one myself, AND I already had a similar fic idea, so I just stuck the two together one day, and BAM! A great plot!

According to one of my own sayings, 'The fine line between genius and insanity is that the genius knows he's insane' I happen to be quite the little genius when it comes to these sorts of plots. XP

Anyway, ENJOY! (OR ELSE)

EDIT: Decided to change it from 'T' to 'M' due to so much swearing.

* * *

Naruto, if nothing else could be said about the boy, hated mornings. He also hated the Akatsuki, traitors, snakes, Uchiha clansmen, whiny people, loud people, most people in fact, and otherwise just about anything you can list. He'd gotten surly in his old age, and you would too if you spent eighteen years trapped in a timeloop that always led to you dying painfully. Every time Akatsuki would track him down. Every time they'd try to rip Kyuubi out of his gut, and every single time Kyuubi would throw Naruto's consciousness back about thirty days to try it all over again as a last-ditch effort to survive. 

After about two years of training to beat Akatsuki and thus break the loop, Naruto found the effort horridly futile. For one, his body retained no muscle memory from any training he did from one loop to the next. All he could do is remember… thus, Jutsu training. Oddly enough, his muscle control wouldn't carry over, but his chakra control, to a minimal extent, did. That topic, however, is for another time…

In essence, Naruto became a cold, cynical bastard, spending more time developing a jutsu to send himself back further than thirty days than his sixteen-year-old form had technically been alive. Sarutobi was dead. Jiraiya was dead. The only person who could remotely count as a seal master that he knew was still breathing was Kakashi at the time, so he learned from him. Writing and remembering how every seal worked. This alone took years worth of loops, but let it not be said that Naruto was an idiot. When he put his mind to something, he learned to do it… flawlessly.

Either that, or change what he was learning so that it fit his needs, and still worked as well or better than the original. And so did Naruto spend most of the last decade of his memory in seclusion. He had to do the jutsu, and he had to do it RIGHT. He finally decided to try it on the eighteenth anniversary to getting his ass stuck in the damn loops.

And so he opened his eyes. Crappy apartment… moldy furnishings… outdated _everything_… aww shit. He went back too far. The young blonde leaned up, cracked his neck simply by moving it against his shoulders, and walked into the bathroom. "Fuck…" He muttered. "I'm a midget again…" And so he was, staring at his twelve-year-old self… his chakra control and capacity, at least in comparison to that of his older body even with the minute augmentations that came with knowing how chakra worked on an almost intimate level, was utter shit when he was twelve.

Naruto sighed. The first thing he needed to do was go find out what day it was, and what was going on. After digging around for a while, he found a Konoha forehead protector and that obnoxiously orange jumpsuit he wore as a child. '**No insult in your language is foul enough for how horrible that **_**thing**_** looks on us, **_**ningen**_**…'**

Naruto arched an eyebrow. '_I can't possibly have had this kind of mental contact with you back then, fox… What did you do?'_ He asked mentally.

'**A simple matter of using you as a springboard to send **_**myself**_** back before you were born, so that I could avoid ever being sealed by that bastard gnat of a Hokage in the first place.' **The demon responded.

Naruto's brow furrowed. '_Did it work?_'

'**Obviously not you damned idiot… not well enough, anyway. I got here a good week before you did, and knowing that you'd show up soon after, I used the time to set up the wonderful mental link we had in the future.' **The demon scoffed. **'What fun would eternity be if I missed out on time better spent driving you **_**insane**_**?'**

'_So that's why I went back too far…_' Naruto mused. Shrugging it off, he went through his closet once more, coming across a pair of black pants along with a black and red jacket that reminded him dreadfully of his jumpsuit, if in shape and stitching alone. But, it was better than nothing. Naruto honestly had no memory of the clothes. Perhaps Sarutobi snuck them in during one of his visits? That reminded him… he should talk to the old monkey, if he's still alive. Donning the more ninja-colored garb and tying the hitai-ate around his upper left arm, he immediately stopped by a training area, and made exactly five hundred and one shadow clones. "You." He pointed to the lone figure apart from the massive ranks. "Sort them out, and disperse twenty of them every half-hour. I want to recondition this damnable body for as many techniques as we can. Focus on re-mastering the Rasengan first." The clone nodded, sorting the groups into equal parts tree-walking, water-walking, element manipulation and Rasengan training, even as the original launched himself away towards the Hokage tower.

Sarutobi was confused when Naruto burst through the window, especially since he didn't even break the glass. He would've expected Naruto to either kick open the door like he always did, or at least come diving through the glass… instead, the blonde simply burst the lock on the windows, allowing them to swing inward. Naruto then stood directly in front of the old man in something other than his old orange jumpsuit, a pleasant surprise but a surprise nonetheless, but the biggest surprise was the look on the blonde's face. He almost seemed to be _glaring_ at the Hokage. "Naruto… what's wrong? Shouldn't you be off being sorted into your Genin team right now?"

"Tch… that explains what day it is…" Naruto muttered, earning a confused look from Sarutobi, which he decided to explain. "Listen up, and listen good, you old monkey…" This caused the elderly man to scowl, and the guards by the door to glare at him. "…I don't give a damn whether or not you believe me, but trust me when I say I'm too fucking old to take any bullshit if you don't." This caused curiosity and a hint of animosity to form. "About four years from now, I get caught up in this goddamned loop, what with Akatsuki ripping the Kyuubi out of my gut and him sending me back in time a month to fix it. In the end, I got fed up with trying, and made a time-travel jutsu of my own." Sarutobi's eyes widened, and his mouth opened to ask something, but he was cut off by Naruto's raised hand. "Hold all questions until the end of the ride, old man… anyway, I was sixteen when it happened, and spent a good eighteen years trying to get out of it, giving me a grand total of thirty-four years under my belt. I am _not_ in the mood for any bullshit, nor am I in a mood to be nice about telling you what's in your future and actually _help people._ If and when I am, I'll tell you. Until then…" He rubbed his hands across his brow, an act that almost made him look his supposed age. "Fuck, I'm getting old… anyway, questions?"

Sarutobi scowled slightly. "Time-travel is theoretically impossible. How did you do it?"

"Ahh. Gettin' right to the source, eh? Well, first off, 'time-travel' is an inaccurate term, even though it's the only one that applies right now. There was no 'travel' involved. All I did was imprint my own mind onto my former self, much like one does to the blank slate of a Bunshin technique." He said, somewhat haughtily, swiftly adding; "and no, I'm not going to teach it to you, or anyone else. The only reason I could do it is because I had a nearly infinite chakra supply to work with."

Sarutobi sighed. "That… seems possible. Now, what proof do I have that you are Naruto-kun?"

"None at all…" Naruto replied, smirking as he let Kyuubi's Youki bubble out into the room. "Then again, who else has a nine-tailed bastard sealed into their gut?"

"Point taken…" Sarutobi muttered. "Well then, if there's nothing else, I believe you have a team to meet." Sarutobi's smile instantly turned into a glare as he continued. "I will have an ANBU team flank you, so that they can make sure you stop by for a chat afterwards."

"Yippee…" Naruto muttered, walking towards the door. Stopping before the threshold, he turned his head and spoke again. "In approximately four months, Orochimaru will kill you." Turning back with a slight wave over his shoulder, Naruto walked out the door. "Better train up, eh?"

---

Naruto walked into the academy just as the Jounins started to arrive. The only person in the room he bothered to show more than a glare was Hinata, whom he gifted with a sad smile, causing her to blush. Maybe there _was_ something wrong with him becoming a recluse for about a decade… but he didn't really care too much. All he did was tell Iruka that he'd be back before his sensei showed up, and left before anyone could question him. He'd gone to check up on his Kage Bunshin and stop for ramen. One of the few things he really missed about being social. They tried to get 'what was wrong' out of him, but he stayed silent, even as he consumed bowl after bowl and paid. Upon returning to the room, he found Sakura and Sasuke sitting alone in the room, just as he expected.

"What's up with you, dobe?" Sasuke asked, smirking.

"Sit down, and shut the fuck up, bastard…" Naruto answered, bringing down two harsh glared upon himself. Sakura immediately started screaming at him, but the blonde only made a show of placing a Genjutsu that blocks out the target's hearing upon himself. He'd made sure to learn it as soon as he found out about it. It made focusing on his seals easier, and he was ecstatic that he had enough control to use it. After a while, Kakashi appeared through the doorway, and Naruto dispelled the Genjutsu, following him up to the roof.

"So then… let's all introduce ourselves." Kakashi said, and was about to continue before a certain angry blonde interrupted him.

"Hatake Kakashi… Jounin, former ANBU captain, known as the copy nin 'Sharingan Kakashi' for having copied over one thousand jutsu with your unnatural Sharingan, the product of… a belated birthday present?" Naruto asked, still iffy on that part of the story he'd once been told about his sensei. Kakashi's one visible eye was wide, and had an innumerable variety of emotions playing through it, the one sign that he felt anything at all. "Anyway, guy gets eye hacked out, Uchiha friend gives him his eye as a replacement, etcetera and whatnot… very secretive, chronically late, the student of the late Yondaime Hokage, and a blatant pervert… I miss anything?"

Kakashi's eye was twitching. He made no attempt to hide his cyclopean glare from the world. "How… do you know all that?" He asked, the sound of it making it obvious that it was through gritted teeth.

"To be honest, Sarutobi probably doesn't want me talking about the whole… 'I know everything from the next four years and my conscious mind is older than YOU' thing, but I really don't give a shit." Naruto grumbled. "To be honest, the only thing you could possibly have left to teach me aside from one or two of those thousand copied jutsu that I could probably get from someone else is your Chidori, but to be honest, I'd probably just improve upon the damn thing anyway…"

"Improve upon the Chidori?" Kakashi asked, his one visible eyebrow cocked in amusement.

"You did it. Ever heard of the Raikiri?" Naruto asked, with a smirk. "But that's just the same damn thing with more chakra. Me? I've never been one for assassination jutsu, so I'd probably make it into a close-range Taijutsu augmentation." He added with a shrug. "Then again, out of all the ways I've nearly died in my life, a Chidori through the chest _was_ the most traumatizing, so I don't think it's for me, anyway…"

At this, both of the other students seemed to glare at the man while he sputtered indignantly. Naruto instead of continuing his rant towards his sensei, slapped the back of the resident Uchiha's head painfully. "It wasn't _HIM_ that did it, you fucking snake-ass wannabe." Sasuke pointed at himself in confusion, while Sakura started shrieking in his defense. Naruto immediately spun about on his heel, glaring at the girl. With all the killing intent he laced into it, she couldn't breathe, let alone yell anymore. Naruto scoffed at the scent of urine that began to emanate from her. "You know, in the end, all three of us wound up the student of a Sannin. All my teachers were perverts, go figure, so I wound up with Jiraiya. Tsunade took pity on our little banshee-bitch here, since she actually HAS decent chakra control, even if everything else she has to boast is utterly pathetic, while_ Sasuke-kun _got snatched up by Orochimaru." Even the name of the snake was an abominable curse in Konoha. So much so that Kakashi stiffened, Sasuke and Sakura looked horrified, and Naruto just located two of his ANBU stalkers by their audible gasps. "You…" He added, pointing his finger right in Sasuke's face. "Are a lost cause not even worthy of my attention, save for what I'd need to rip out your throat. Especially after you pulled all that shit about killing me for the Mangekyou."

"Naruto! Enough!" Kakashi roared, trying to keep the situation from escalating. "You and I need a private chat, _right now_!"

Naruto didn't bother to turn back to his sensei. He just kept on glaring down at the two in front of him before pointing at Sakura. "You should go home, get cleaned up, and report to the hospital. You were never meant for field work when you're built for medicine. Decent mind and good chakra control. Fix that damned temper of yours and maybe you can make something of yourself." She was too afraid by then to do anything but nod and run away, while Naruto turned to Sasuke. "I don't give a flying fuck what happens to you, but if you ever even once try to _insinuate_ that you hate Itachi more than I do, I'll crack your fucking skull open faster than you can say 'Tsukuyomi'! Now _leave!_"

Sasuke glared at Naruto, ready to tear the blonde boy a new one before he had the same amount of killing intent leveled at him that Sakura had earlier. Needless to say, he shut up and ran. "And what do you have to say for breaking up your team?" Kakashi asked angrily.

Naruto scoffed, chuckling for a while. "What 'team'? All I saw in them was a bitch and a traitor. Neither of them have been friends of mine for nearly two decades." Naruto finally turned, leveling his now crimson glare at his former sensei. "And you were never a teacher to me. All you cared about was Sasuke, and look at what happened to him! We weren't good enough, so he ran away, all for the power to kill his brother!"

Kakashi gave him a moment to cool off before continuing on a different subject. "Why do you hate Itachi?"

Naruto stopped glaring for a moment, closing his eyes as he walked over behind his sensei, standing on the edge of the roof. "I fell in love once… sure, I had feelings for some other girls, but that was never love, no matter what it led up to." Naruto sighed. "Itachi killed her. Him and his organization used her to get to me, and capture Kyuubi. He killed her, and used those damned eyes of his to force me to relive it for nearly a week." Kakashi was about to say that the Tsukuyomi only lasted three days, but Naruto was a step ahead of him. "The first time was to knock me out… the next time was because I tried to get away and 'hadn't learned my lesson yet'." The blonde boy clenched his hand so firmly that his dull fingernails dug into his palms. Kakashi's eye widened slightly when he saw the blood dripping from his fist. "I don't give a damn what you want, or what you think… I washed my hands of Team Seven a long time ago. Now if you don't mind, I need a drink…"

And so, Kakashi watched as his last potential student leapt away, immediately turning to report to the Hokage.

---

The ANBU sent to track him soon caught up with Naruto, who was cutting through a training ground on his way to where he found the bars in his later years. The blonde was immediately surrounded by four men in masks. "Uzumaki-san… please come with us to see the Hokage. He has requested your presence."

"And he'll _get _my presence… tomorrow." Naruto said, making to walk through a gap between two of them, only for a sword to block his path. "Listen, he said he wanted to see me after my meeting. _Next_ _week_ is after my meeting, but I'm not _that _rude. I just want to forget everything for a while, okay?" Naruto asked, running through a string of hand seals, causing the ANBU to tense. The boy then aged nearly a decade before their eyes, his clothes changing with him, and his hair lengthened by several inches. "Ahh, that's better… not a midget anymore!" The blonde man said, stretching. He now towered over two of the shorter ANBU at just over six feet tall, his frame just as thin, lithe, and strong as theirs. "A reverse of the advanced Genjutsu Tsunade uses to look young… _damn_ am I glad I had her teach me that, now! Lucky it worked, too… my chakra control is horrid…" He popped several joints before turning back to the leader. "Now, you've got two choices, you can either go back and tell Sandaime-sama that I'll be in tomorrow, and live, or you can _try _to bring me in today, and I can gut the lot of you." Naruto flared Kyuubi's chakra, freezing all four of them in place while he walked past. "I knew you'd see it my way…"

As the ANBU vanished, retreating to report to the Hokage and request reinforcements, none of them noticed the white-eyed girl who strayed from her Genin team watching the entire ordeal…

---

"Is that the demon-brat!?" One of the patrons growled as Naruto, in his new form, walked through the doors of the pub. He'd found out in one loop that this place served Konoha ninja for free, so it was frequented by many of their kind. All sorts of whispers and angry gossip sprang up the instant he set foot onto the premises, leading up to when he sat down on a barstool while the man behind it glared at him.

"We don't serve your kind here…" The bartender muttered. "Sorry kid, just bad for business, y'know?"

Naruto glanced up at the man. He didn't look _sorry_ at all. Just then, three large men stood up from their table and made their way over to him, glaring down their noses at him. "Hey, _demon_, get up! We're gonna' pound you flat, and toss you out!"

Naruto lazily glanced up at the leader. The three of them looked like Chuunin, but it didn't matter… He could still take them if he wanted to, but he wasn't in the mood. He let out another wave of Youki, seemingly freezing everything in the bar. "Proposing to attack a _demon_ would have to be the single dumbest thing I've ever heard from a human… just above _going along_ with said proposition." Naruto turned back to the bartender, significantly lessening the Youki in the air. "I hope you don't mind, but, if they attack me, I'm going to kill the lot of them in self-defense." The three behind him, as well as half of the other patrons stiffened at his words. Naruto then held out his hand as if to receive something, while pointing his index finger toward a sign just above the man behind the bar. "Now, if there's not a bottle of sake in my hand in the next five seconds, I'm going to tell the Hokage about you and your false advertising." The sign he pointed to was, of course, the very sign that said Konoha-nin drank for free. "That or, if you're all so convinced I'm really a _demon_, I might be better off _acting_ like one and slaughtering every last one of you…" Naruto added with a shrug. There was a jug of sake in his hand no more than two seconds later. After taking a long swig, Naruto continued. "That's better… you know, I've had a horrible life up until now… beatings, names, overall indecent treatment for a Jinchuuriki… Trust me, I hate Kyuubi just as much as everyone else." He added, downing the rest of the jug. Naruto knew it was harder for him to get drunk than most people, thanks to the fox, but he still could if he drank enough. "If anyone deserves to forget their lives for a little while… it's me." He said, smiling as the bartender handed him another.

---

Naruto groaned as he opened his eyes… and wasn't in his room. Nor any room in his apartment. Waking up in someone else's house wasn't a new thing for him, but it still wasn't quite as fun if you couldn't recognize the room… or the bed. The first time he woke up in an unknown bed after drinking was just after he'd agreed to train with Team Gai in his second time-loop. Tenten took him out for a drink, and he woke up in her bed the next morning. She'd always hold a special place in his heart for being the first girl he'd ever had sex with, but it was never anything romantic. Even after that, they just stayed 'friends with benefits'… it wasn't just Tenten he'd sleep with either throughout his many loops, there were a few girls he'd trained with while trying to best Akatsuki, he'd even gotten Ino and Sakura to throw him 'pity fucks' every now and then, even if they didn't remember they'd already done so… but there was always one girl he'd never forget… the only one that said she loved him… Hinata.

Shaking his head to get the old memories out of his mind, he thought back to what happened the previous night. Thanks to the Kyuubi, he'd never once gotten a hangover. Only this eerie feeling that he knew was the fact that he _should've_ gotten a hangover. As such, he'd been able to piece together most drinking nights the next morning, while most people can't. '_Let's see… I was drinking, the people left me alone… until this woman sat down next to me and started drinking. Then she started chatting me up after getting drunk herself, complaining… and I agreed with her. About what? Uhhm… OROCHIMARU! Yes! We both hate him! And then what… she offered to take me home, but we went to her apartment instead of mine… and we got naked and had sex. Ahh… that makes sense now…'_

And then, Naruto heard a groan to his right, and turned over in the bed to see the woman he'd slept with, only to find none other than Mitarashi Anko.

* * *

Yup. Just made the '4000 word minimum' I like to keep to for chapters. Anyway, next chapter should be done in a few days… I tend to obsess over new fics for a while. Usually lasts three to five chapters and then I get back to normal writing speed, which I should warn you now is SLOOOOOOOOW. 

No complaining about how slow I update. I already warned you.

This fic is really just a couple of recycled ideas from fics I never got around to making decent. It works now, though.

For all the fans of my other fics out there, I'm not giving up on any of them! I'm working out the kinks in the last chapter of SoAS right now! It might take a good while, but I'll finish it!

One last thing; I sometimes use Japanese in my fics. If you don't know what a word I use means, go ahead and send me a PM asking about it, I'll tell you what I think it means. (Unless it starts getting annoying and I stop doing that)


	2. A Difference of Opinion

Chapter 2… Kekeke…

If you're noting the somewhat… _poor_ quality of my writing, it's probably because I'm just rushing through to the good stuff. XP

I might come back and rewrite it, but it's doubtful.

I DO have to warn that there's a bit of a spoiler for the canon series in here, though. (Can't bitch at me for sayin' it now, heheh)

* * *

"Ugh… what happened?" Anko murmured to herself, holding her head, obviously feeling the effects of her massive hangover. 

"We fucked." Naruto answered obtrusively, catching her attention.

"And who the hell are you?" She asked, searching her nightstand for headache medication.

"Uzumaki Naruto. I'd ask you the same, but I'm pretty sure I know your name already." He answered almost venomously.

Anko looked over at him, still groggy from sleep. Naruto glared back at her until she started laughing. "Oh that's good… the snake bitch gets boned by the demon midget… a real _hoot _there!" She said, downing the painkillers with more sake. She looked back and saw his glare hadn't lessened. "I'll admit you're not quite the midget I thought you were, and I'll want to know why the hell that is later, but right now… are you even listening?"

Naruto was staring off at her ceiling, remembering more about the previous day. "Yes, I am. We'll talk about all this later, and I'll be happy to sort out any arrangement you want." The blonde scooted himself out of the bed, slipping on his boxers and pants, which he found on the floor. "…after my appointment with the Hokage."

Anko just glared at him, not even bothering to pull the sheets up with her as she started getting up herself. "What, you think I want _payment_ like some common _whore_!?" She yelled.

"No, I'm saying, if you want a fuck you'll actually _remember_ this time instead of getting plastered first, then I'd be happy to oblige." She sputtered at his words, looking at him interrogatively. "I mean, you said it yourself… I'm the '_demon brat' _who'd wanna sleep with _me_?" He said sadly. "Anyway, like I said, I ditched the Hokage to go drinking yesterday, so I should get back to him before he has the ANBU track me down."

"Shit…" Anko muttered, looking at the clock. "I need to see him too… mission assignments."

"Ahh, well, maybe I'll see you there, then?" Naruto asked cheerfully, and at her nod, gathered the remainder of his clothing before heading for the door.

---

Naruto was the focus of everyone's attention as he made his way to the Hokage's tower. After all, demon or no, it was unheard of for someone to age a decade in a day. The blonde didn't bother explaining himself though, and simply made his way in silence before kicking open the door to the Hokage's office. He stood there for a moment, glaring over the small crowd of people. Apparently, they were sorting out the Jounin's missions for the day, and none other than Hatake Kakashi stood at the fore of them. Naruto inwardly groaned. This was going to take some explaining, alright… He'd remembered to leave a mass of clones in a training area on his way in, and one of the groups dispersed just then, causing him to stall for another instant, which just made him look stupid. Growling in annoyance, he walked through the gaggle of Jounin, leaning over the elderly man's desk and staring him in the eye. "Okay, old man… what do you want?"

"You're late, Naruto." Sarutobi said, and as if on cue, whispers and mutters began spreading through the crowd at the confirmation of the mysterious blonde's identity. "Why didn't you come in yesterday?"

"I went drinking. Needed to loosen up a bit… then I got caught up bedding one of your subordinates, who should be showing up in… three, two…" Naruto grumbled when nothing happened. "Damn that woman… Anyway,-" and then Anko burst through the doors, sweaty and panting. "You're four seconds late for me counting down your entry, dammit!"

Anko looked up at him in confusion before scoffing. "Damn brat needs to learn to shut up…"

Sarutobi cleared his throat, catching the attention of everyone in the room. "Now, Naruto… why do you look different?"

"Oh, well, about three years into my 'loops' I figured out that I'd probably overshoot my target time, _like I did_, so I had Tsunade teach me the Genjutsu she uses to look young, and we came up with a reverse for it. Thank Kami I've actually got the chakra control to use it. Although it doesn't really require too much control, but a _lot_ of chakra, I mean hell, it's practically a Ninjutsu!" Naruto chuckled. "But I'm working on control right now… as you know, being the 'professor' and all, Kage Bunshin can be used to train chakra, since their memories and experiences become my own when they dispel themselves. I should be high Chuunin level by the end of the week." He added with a shrug. "So, why don't you ever use Kage Bunshin to do your paperwork?"

Sarutobi chuckled at that. "Well, since it's not _technically_ me writing the papers, I would legally have to void anything they do. I learned that the hard way, and it took two years to catch up after I was caught half a year into my term."

"Ouch… that's rough." Naruto mumbled. "Anyway, I'm relearning all of the jutsu I learned from Jiraiya, including the Yondaime's. In a little while, I should have the chakra control to pull off one of my _own_ signature jutsu…" at Sarutobi's raised eyebrow, Naruto smirked and continued. "With over a thousand Kage Bunshin helping me on the same jutsu for over a decade, you don't think it's weird that I wouldn't finish it? Even if said jutsu _does _defy the laws of time and space? Hell no, I kept getting sidetracked."

The old man let out a somewhat impressed grunt along with a nod. "And when can I see these jutsu?"

"What, so you can learn 'em yourself? Tch, I suppose I _do_ owe you, old man…" Naruto said with a smile. "Yeah, like I said… end of the week. Now, down to business! I want to buy some land."

Everyone in the room was silent at that, all very confused. "Naruto… for what reason could you possibly require _land_?" The Sandaime asked after a moment.

"I want to build a house. Frankly, I'm damn tired of that dingy apartment, and for all my clones are worth chakra-wise, they don't help worth shit for building up muscle. This would help with that." Naruto shrugged.

Kakashi, finally feeling comfortable enough to jump into the conversation and possibly bruise his would-have-been student's ego, spoke up. "Buy land with _what_, Naruto? I'm fairly certain you don't have that much money…"

The blonde just narrowed his eyes and scoffed before addressing the Hokage again. "Tch, take it out of my inheritance." This got another wave of whispers and murmurs going. Sarutobi's eyes widened slightly, something that went unnoticed by all but the blonde boy staring straight into them. "Do I need to get you the account number, or what?" Naruto was, of course, referring to the money he was allowed to claim on his sixteenth birthday. Unfortunately, he'd been caught up in all this loop business before he could move out of his old apartment. When Sarutobi didn't answer immediately, Naruto started again. "What's the problem? If my memory's half as good as I thought it was, a little cash for land, timber and other building materials wouldn't even scratch the surface of it." And it wouldn't. One thing Naruto repeatedly thanked fate for was that he'd been caught up in the loops _after_ having the account opened to him. In all those years of month-long loops, he'd never _once_ run out of money, and he spent one month _trying _to!

In the end, Sarutobi sighed. "Okay, Naruto… I'll give you access to the account for this one purpose only." Naruto grinned brightly, reminding the old man of how Naruto used to be only a few days ago. "You know the account number, I assume?"

The blonde smirked as he rolled his eyes in response. "Would I have brought all this up if I didn't?" Naruto then turned to head down a floor to the Hokage's accounting office, which only a select few knew acted as a banking system for some of Konoha's clans and important figures as well, only to be met by the sight of more than a dozen confused Jounin and another few Tokubetsu Jounin like Anko.

Behind him, Naruto could hear Sarutobi chuckle. "Naruto, I believe an explanation would be prudent for your superiors, since their understanding in this matter would make everything easier in the long run." Naruto shot around and caught the old man giving him a sheepish grin. "And there happen to be a few holes in the story you already told _me_, so if you would mind?"

Naruto sighed heavily and turned back around, leaning back on the Hokage's desk and folding his arms over his chest. "Okay, approximately four years from now, the successor of Orochimaru, one Uchiha 'no way in _fuck_ can I do any wrong' Sasuke, his gang of thugs attack Konoha. In a fucking karmic _bitch-slap_, Akatsuki, the organization made up entirely of S-Class missing-nin that are hell-bent on collecting the nine Bijuu, of which the one in my gut was the last, decided to blitz me on the same fucking day, sending all seven of their remaining members, including Snake-fucker-_junior's _big brother into Konoha. In the end, everyone dies, and Kyuubi decides to shove my mind back about a month so I can fix it. It didn't work, and I wound up reliving the same month just _waiting_ to die over and over until I nearly went insane trying to train myself up to the point where I could beat them all, which _also_ wound up worse than Kakashi's teaching record." If his audience wasn't so stupefied, including the Cyclops himself, he was sure he'd've gotten a few snickers or a glare… taking a deep breath, Naruto continued "And then it dawned on me to make a jutsu that'd send me back _farther_ than a month, so I could stop all that shit from happening. If it weren't for the fact that Sandaime over there-" Naruto pointed back at the old man with his thumb "-is due to die in less than half a year and Jiraiya got splattered on some wall by one of those same Akatsuki bastards that were after me, I would've finished sooner, but instead all I had to teach me seals was just Kaka-teme and a few other Jounin." Naruto was surprised there weren't more gasps and angry mutters than there were regarding the demise of two of Konoha's greatest shinobi. "In the end, it took me nearly ten years to finish the jutsu, since I kept getting side-tracked with all sorts of badass Ninjutsu ideas for me to use once I came back in time, and after I did finish it, I finally got out of those damned loops on the eighteenth anniversary to getting stuck in them in the first place on my two-hundred and twentieth loop, and here I got as of yesterday."

To say everyone there was dumbfounded would be a monumental understatement. Everyone (save for Kakashi, who still wore his face-mask) stood with gaping mouths and wide eyes at the end of his rant. This only lasted a moment, however, as Kakashi's one visible eye narrowed and he spoke. "Wait… men have wasted their entire lives trying to create a Ninjutsu like that, and you're saying you did it in less than a decade? Need I remind you that I've seen your academy grades?"

Naruto returned the man's glare tenfold. "And need I remind you that I've got a demon sealed in my gut, as well as a certain Jounin-level Kinjutsu? Honestly, I usually had about a thousand Kage Bunshin working on the same project, so in reality, I chalked up nearly a millennia working on that damned thing… not to mention I couldn't've gotten the jutsu to work in the first place without a nigh-infinite chakra source like the Kyuubi." The blonde shrugged. "Only a Jinchuuriki with a significantly powerful demon, let's say seven or more tails could actually get it to work."

"Time-travel is still theoretically impossible…" Naruto heard from the back of the crowd, starting up a chain of similar mutterings. Naruto nodding in agreement only made them confused.

"As I told the old monkey…" Now everyone was glaring at the blonde, save for the Hokage himself, who found the nickname oddly humorous. "There was no 'travel' involved. I imprinted my thirty-four, or thirteen-hundred, however the fuck old I am once you take the Kage Bunshin into account… where was I? Oh yeah, my _older_ mind onto my younger body in the past. The theory is actually quite simple, but in practice, it takes over forty-thousand written kanji along with nearly two-hundred hand-seals to do… just _thinking _about it makes my brain hurt…" It may seem like a lot at first, but once you take into account targeting the temporal coordinates, making the mental copy to be sent back, tapping into Kyuubi's chakra _and_ fusing his chakra with the demon's to do the technique, as even though they'd never admit it, neither Naruto nor Kyuubi had enough chakra to do it alone. In total, the jutsu cost nearly fourteen out of the supposed seventeen tails worth of chakra they had at their disposal, thus reinforcing exactly how impossible time-travel was. "And before you ask, I had to memorize every single fucking thing about the jutsu, since everything reset after every loop." Naruto turned back to the Hokage, giving the older man a sullen and almost _defeated_ look. "If you want, I'll write down everything I have on it, so long as you promise to lock the scrolls away in a very deep, dark place where it'll never be seen again."

Sarutobi gave Naruto an almost surprised glance. "Scrolls?" He asked.

Naruto groaned. "Yes, scrolls. _Plural_. Did you not hear how much goes into it? I'll need at least three, maybe five of those big scrolls with 'forbidden' stamped on the side to write it all down in." At Sarutobi's nod, Naruto sighed and leaned over the desk. "Do you think we could get away for a second? I've got a personal something I want to talk to you about…"

The older man nodded again, pushing himself back from the desk and standing up slowly before walking around his desk and laying his hand on Naruto's shoulder. Before Naruto could blink, he and the Hokage were standing atop the Fourth Hokage's stone head. Say what you will about his age, but that old monkey is _fast_ with Shunshin. "Now, Naruto-kun… what is it?"

Naruto sighed before sitting down. If Sarutobi wasn't a shinobi, he'd've sworn Naruto looked older than him for an instant. After the older man sat down beside the blonde and took off his hat, signifying that their talk was 'man to man' instead of 'Genin to Hokage', Naruto began to speak. "You probably already figured out that I slept with Mitarashi-san. We were both heavily inebriated, and have yet to resolve the issue of what exactly we're going to do now." Sarutobi surveyed Naruto with a raised eyebrow, at which Naruto smiled grimly. "Come on, gramps… you know as well as I do that thanks to my old man and the damned fox, I could very well be alone for a _very_ long time…" Naruto caught the village elder wince before he could hide it. "She's probably the best shot I've got at getting any sort of physical attention that doesn't involve my imminent demise." Naruto let himself fall back with an audible 'thump' "I'm just getting too old for this shit…"

Sarutobi chuckled as he nodded his agreement. "As am I…"

"Listen, I told Anko we'd talk after she got done with work. It'd be _nice_ if she got the day off so we could figure all this shit out." Naruto muttered, leaning up to look the Hokage in the eyes. At the older man's nod, Naruto sighed and continued. "If you could privately tell her to drop by my place after the meeting, that'd be great… I'll be packing up all my stuff." The older man gave him a curious glance. "Listen, I'm either moving in with her, or camping in a tent on my new land until the house is livable."

Sarutobi chuckled. "Okay, Naruto…"

Before the old man could Shunshin away, Naruto caught him off guard. "It's because I remind you so much of _him_, isn't it?" Sarutobi could just nod, not even turning to face the blonde before disappearing in a flurry of leaves.

---

Naruto didn't have to wait long, as Anko arrived with an almost angry knock on his door less than an hour after Naruto left the monument. Any rage she had for the boy abated when she saw the state of his living space, however. '_No wonder the gaki wants to move out…_' she thought. Naruto offered her tea, but she refused it. As sad as she was to even think it, the boy probably didn't have a clean teacup anywhere in the moldy trash-heap that was his home. "You… why didn't you try to move out sooner?" she asked, sitting down on his… if you could _call _that amalgamation of mold, padding and wood a couch…

"To be honest?" Naruto started, sitting himself down on the floor in front of her lazily. "Before I did the whole 'sending my mind back in time' thing, I'd convinced myself everyone lived like me. Helped blot out the hurt, y'know?" Naruto looked almost pained as he thought back so many years. "Besides… no one in Konoha would let me live better than this. Every so often, the villagers get a mob together, usually on the anniversary of Kyuubi's attack, and they storm through my house, wrecking everything." Naruto sighed, and chuckled grimly. "I learned better than to be home for my birthday after the first couple times they caught me here… although I suppose it was a good thing… those were the only years they left some of my stuff unbroken, since they were so busy breaking _me_…"

"You really have had it rough, huh?" Anko asked, standing up and stretching. "Well, it's not really any business of mine." The dark glint in her eye said otherwise, as she turned to the door. "Hey… if I wanted to find you, where should I look?"

"I'm pretty sure I'll be taking up residence in training area thirty-four. I'll set up a tent there." Naruto said, shouldering the bag that held all of the possessions that held any sentimental value, or were worth taking with him. "Like I said, I'll be making a house. Stop by if you're ever in the area, eh?" Naruto hefted the bag, repositioning it onto a less painful section of his shoulder before making for the door.

---

To say the training area was barren would be an overstatement, but it was mostly clear of trees and plants. The area itself was mostly a large hill with several training posts sticking out of the ground, and quite a few pockmarks from various jutsu used on the hillside. Just before the hill leveled into the nearby plains of training areas eight, seventeen and thirty-three, a veritable ring of trees encompassed the hill. Naruto sighed, creating a good number of Kage Bunshin to clear the hill while he dug a shovel out of his pack, and started to dig straight down from the top of the hill.

The next three days passed almost uneventfully, the only thing worth taking note of was Anko's visit the second night, and her proposition to let him share her bed the next. On the fourth day, he heard a noise from behind him in the tunnels he'd been making. The first point in the design of his home was to be the system of escape and supply tunnels he'd put in. That way, he'd never need to bother with the villagers… he'd just pop into a nearby town for whatever he needed. Each night, he posted multiple Kage Bunshin as guards for his new home, and sent more to train. Setting down the pick he'd been using to chip away under the bedrock and leaning against it haughtily, Naruto lifted his lamp and waited for his visitors to arrive. He only had to wait a moment before three young children came stumbling out of the dark. "Oww!" A young girl whined as the apparent leader lost his footing and brought her down under him. "Please get off me, Konohamaru-kun…" She groaned.

Naruto sighed as he watched their third member, a sickly looking boy, lift the leader off the girl by his scarf and nearly choking him. "Why are we down here, anyway?" He asked.

"Because where there's tunnels, there's treasure and adventure!" Konohamaru cried out, pumping his fist into the air emphatically. Naruto waited for the crickets to stop chirping before clearing his throat. The Hokage's grandson immediately spun around, pointing at him. "YOU THERE! You're after our treasure, aren't you!?"

The blonde rolled his eyes before using Henge to turn three rocks into smaller versions of his pick. "You've got some nerve coming onto my land, and into my tunnels, brat…" Naruto said before tossing the picks to them. The girl caught hers, and the snot-nosed boy managed to dodge his, but Konohamaru was struck across the forehead by the shaft of his. "Your reflexes are simply _astounding_, y'know… now get to diggin' if you're gonna' hang around here."

"And why should we!?" The Sarutobi boy yelled, having shot to his feet while stifling the pain-induced tears in his eyes. His accomplices had taken up their picks and stood on either side of him defensively.

"Because it's good strength training…" Naruto answered with a shrug. "And because you'll never last more than half an hour in this kind of manual labor anyway. You guys want to be _ninja_, right?"

"H-how did you know that!?" The leader shouted.

"Not important…" Naruto groaned, hefting the pick easily with one hand and sending it rocketing through the stone, cleaving away several square feet of rock in under a second. "You want to be strong, right?" He asked, taking another swing, and another with that same arm before wiping nonexistent sweat from his brow and turning back to the youngsters. "Usually I just make a couple Iwa Bunshin to take care of the rocks buuut, I'll tell you what… break this stuff into manageable bits and pile it up outside, and if you last more than an hour non-stop, I'll teach you a chakra exercise most people never learn until after they hit Genin, okay?"

After a moment's hesitation, all three gave a hearty cry to the affirmative, and true to Naruto's lackluster appraisal of their physical abilities, they could barely stand after twenty minutes of work. They'd rest, and then work again, but every time the breaks got longer and the time they could spend working lessened as fatigue set in. After about two hours of work, Naruto sent all three home. This didn't stop all three from showing up early the next morning however, none of them eager to back down from a challenge. Every day the time they spent working grew and the breaks shortened, even if each was only by a couple minutes. After five days, the trio managed the irksome blonde's test of a straight hour of toil, and demanded he teach them.

And so Naruto stood before a trio of trees with an equal number of munchkins in front of him. "This exercise is one of the most basic in the ninja world, taught in every single hidden village." The blonde said loudly before throwing a kunai into the ground in front of each of them. "You will focus chakra into your feet and learn to stick to surfaces. Too much chakra and you repel yourself, too little and you slide off and crack your tiny little heads open." Naruto saw each of them gulp hard after his statement. "Take it nice and slow at first. If you manage it today, which I _seriously_ doubt you will, you'll run up and down the tree until you're exhausted. Use the kunai to mark your progress." Naruto then created a trio of Kage Bunshin to watch over them as he walked back to his tunnels.

Another ten days passed, and Naruto spent his first night in two weeks alone. After they'd spent every night in either his tent or her bed ravaging each other, he was honestly a little worried… but he knew Anko was fine. Probably just on a mission, he figured. The kids had made some progress, though. Moegi had mastered tree walking on the second day, and Udon on the sixth. Konohamaru took the longest, finally getting the hang of it on day eight, but that was expected of eight-year-olds. Naruto then told them to continue the training until he said otherwise, to which they begrudgingly complied. The next day, he decided to pay the Hokage a visit. Once again, he burst in during a Jounin meeting, but after glancing around, he noticed Anko wasn't there. '_Probably still on that mission…_' he thought.

"Naruto! What a surprise… might I ask why you've come here today?" The Sandaime asked, watching the blonde warily just as nearly every Jounin in the room was. Naruto smirked… Kakashi was the exception. He was still facing towards the Hokage, and was the only one who seemed to be paying the blonde no mind at all.

"Kakashi… move and I burn every copy of those books in Konoha." Naruto said, smirking as the man tensed. He knew better than to think his old sensei wasn't reading those perverted novels, even in front of the Hokage. The blonde smiled disarmingly towards the remainder of the room, even as he held out his right hand and started stalking toward the cyclopean shinobi. Each and every one of them knew something was wrong the instant the blonde's fingers started to glow white, and this fear was doubled when the odd chakra began spiraling around each digit like a drill. Kakashi seemed oddly calm, however. Even Naruto wasn't stupid enough to attack a Jounin in the presence of the Hokage…

He thought this right up until he felt the boy's hand on his shoulder, and unimaginable pain flood through his body. Naruto had plunged the attack directly into the older man's spine. Beneath his mask, Kakashi's mouth was opened wide in a soundless scream of agony before he crumpled to the floor. "Holy shit…" Naruto muttered. "I didn't think he'd actually _pass out_…"

"Naruto… what did you do?" The old man behind the desk asked darkly. The blonde smiled sheepishly in response.

"Oh, just a jutsu I came up with, don't worry, he'll be fine… after a few weeks…" Naruto shrugged.

"What is it you want, Naruto?" Sarutobi inquired, glancing down at the fallen man.

Naruto made a show of drawing in a long breath before answering. "Well, maybe you _are_ as blind as you are wrinkly, old man, because I just took down a Jounin." He smiled broadly before leaning over the Hokage's desk. "I want Genin status."

The old man cocked an eyebrow in response before shrugging. "You have it, but did you need to hospitalize one of my best men to get it?"

"Nah, that was just _fun_… Don't worry, though. You'll have three Kage Bunshin here for my D-Ranks every morning." Naruto then turned to leave, not noticing that a red-eyed woman was taking the time to pointedly glare at him.

---

Later that day, Naruto was once again accosted by a trio of youngsters, whom he sent to work climbing trees again. This was interrupted, however, when they were visited upon by half of Team Eight. "Naruto…!" Kurenai called out. "Uzumaki Naruto get your ass out here, _NOW_! That's an order!"

Said blonde then drug himself out of his tunnels, groaning loudly. "Just because I'm a Genin and you're a Jounin, you think you should be ordering me around? What's this about an-" And then he saw who she was with, and thus crashed his train of thought. "…Hinata."

"I want to know what the hell happened to my student, and why it has to do with _you_." Kurenai continued. "We had a little talk, and even if she didn't tell me everything, I still want to know what her success as a kunoichi has to do with _you_."

Naruto already knew. He was the source of Hinata's drive to better herself. He was the reason she fought, and the only thing keeping her sane in the torrent of her family life. What had he done, though? "N-Naruto-kun…" He heard from behind Kurenai. "N-no… I… I want Naruto-kun b-back…" He knew something was wrong, but what? He saw her tears, and took a step forward to try and quell them. He didn't want her to cry, but she took a step back. "You… you're not Naruto-kun…" she muttered, before rushing forward several feet, standing right in front of him. "_Give Naruto-kun back to me!_" She screamed.

Naruto was at a loss, even as Hinata continued to break down, and was ushered away by Kurenai. He knew the direction they were heading in… the hospital, probably to get her something to force her to calm down. Naruto couldn't think straight, even as Kurenai gave him an 'I'll be back' glare. So he just sat himself down on the edge of the hole leading into the tunnels, and pondered it for a moment. He just didn't want her to die… was that so wrong? No… but there was no guarantee she'd die, either…

His thoughts were once more abruptly halted when Anko returned, shadowed by three children who were curious as to the reason for Naruto's many visitors today. "Didn't I tell you lot to train?" Naruto asked, sighing as he stood and walked to meet Anko. The three didn't leave. "So, Anko-chan… what's going on? You just get back from a mission or something?"

She shook her head. "No… I…" She shook her head again. Anko was acting shy. Naruto knew she was _never_ shy… something was wrong. "Naruto… I just got back from the hospital, and I've… got some news." It only took a fraction of a second for him to figure out where this was heading, and he didn't like it one bit…

"…I'm pregnant."

* * *

Kudos to anyone who saw that coming in chapter one… it was kinda' obvious. 

I have no idea why people think this, but some people are under the opinion that 'Tokubetsu Jounin' is some sort of elite. They aren't. They're just Chuunin with a fancy title. Tokujin (Shortened version of Tokubetsu Jounin, or 'Special Jounin') ACT as Jounin in their field of specialty, for instance, Ibiki can order around Jounin and even ANBU in regards to interrogation or intelligence gathering; his specialty that makes him more than a Chuunin. (I assume Anko is a combat specialist, and Ebisu is just a babysitter that has his badass moments) Kakashi is an 'Elite Jounin' which I don't think is an actual rank. Rather, he simply has seniority in most situations, and that's one way of saying as much.

Assuming that every loop is about 30 days (give or take, since he gets caught sooner in some, and later in others), and that every year is 365 and one quarter day (that's why we have leap-years, to add up that quarter day) then the 18-year mark _should_ hit somewhere in the 220-th loop… then again, Naruto wasn't exactly _counting the days_, so it's impossible to be completely certain.

I'm just going to say this once… Sometime after the timeskip, Naruto is said to have almost as much chakra as Kyuubi (I'm pretty sure Kakashi says it) In other words, giving them a grand total of 16-18 tails worth to work with.

And if any of you are wondering when Naruto bought the property, and why I didn't have it in there, _I'm_ wondering why you'd want to read about a boring financial interaction… I just didn't want to write it.

Truth be told, this fic goes against just about everything I know about time-space theorem. (Warning, rant ahead) Everything that has happened _has_ happened. If you go back in time, you've already been there, and so nothing can change. Take the grandfather paradox for instance… if you go back in time, and kill your own grandfather, you won't exist, right? In that case, you wouldn't exist to go back in the first place and kill him, thus, he'd never be killed, and you'd be fine. IF you went back and tried to kill him, SOMETHING would stop you, since you were already there in the past before you were born and you were still born, weren't you? In any case, time travel is theoretically impossible, thus my idea to imprint Naruto's mind on his former self, since that's not quite so far-fetched.


	3. For the Future

Yup…

* * *

"…I'm pregnant." 

The words reverberated through the air, and Naruto was tempted to shout the negative into the heavens dramatically… but he held it in. "How long have you known?" Naruto asked, holding back a sigh at the reactions of the three kids. Moegi was positively ecstatic, Udon seemed curious, and Konohamaru was just being nosy.

"Three days." Anko answered. That coincided with how long she'd been absent. "So, what now?"

"What do you mean 'what now'?" Naruto asked. "Do you want to keep it or not?"

Anko looked stunned. She'd expected him to tell her to go have the thing ripped out of her womb that instant. Most men were like that, anyway... even if it'd never happened to her before. She'd even gone so far as to claim to be pregnant to see the reaction of the man she was sleeping with once… it was always the same. Except for this boy… "You… you'd actually be okay with this?"

Naruto smiled softly. "Why wouldn't I be? It's as much your baby as it is mine, and since it's _your_ womb, I figure you've got the final vote…"

Moegi chose that moment to start bouncing up and down in front of Anko, yelling "Can I help take care of the baby? Can I, huh?"

Anko knelt down and ruffled the girl's hair. "Sure kid… you'd probably make a better mom than me, anyway." At the young girl's curious glance, she continued. "I've got a lot of bad habits I don't want any kid of mine to get…"

Naruto smiled as he knelt down beside them. "Well, I'd already planned in a few extra rooms… you can have one if you'd like." Anko just stared at him, wide-eyed, even as he placed his hand on her stomach. "Keep the family together, y'know?" Naruto then caught everyone off balance by going silent, staring darkly at the ground before him. "The only question is whether or not _you_ want this baby…" Naruto smiled grimly at her confusion. "Heh, have you seen the way people treat me? And there are _laws_ against it. I couldn't imagine what'd happen to you if word got out that you're having my kid…"

Anko looked downtrodden. "I understand…" In truth, she didn't. Hell, she actually _wanted _this baby…

Naruto sighed. "I suppose I'll have to pick up production of the house so you can move in. We'll keep our baby safe together, ne?" Naruto put his hands together, creating at least a hundred Kage Bunshin that immediately set out in search of building materials. "You, brats…" He guided Moegi back beside Konohamaru and Udon. "Can you keep a secret?" Three bobbing heads were his reply. "Okay then. I'll have enough of the house done in… two weeks?" Naruto glanced over to Anko, who seemed rather flabbergasted. "How soon can you be ready to move in?"

Anko blinked. "A day, maybe two…" She answered.

Naruto nodded before doubling the number of Kage Bunshin. "Okay boys… we've got a week to finish this thing, so hop to it!" There were a hundred boisterous cries before Naruto began leading Anko away, only to be stopped by a tug on his jacket.

"Hey, Naruto… where do babies come from?" Konohamaru asked, before Moegi smacked him over the head.

"From the lady's tummy, stupid!" She called out. "But how do you make a baby, anyway?"

Naruto and Anko both had the decency to blush furiously when confronted with the situation. Before the three could press the issue, Naruto had grabbed Anko's arm and the both of them erupted into smoke, replaced by a pair of logs.

---

Naruto and Anko arrived at her home soon after, and locked the door for good measure. "You're sure those brats can't follow us?" She asked.

"Yeah, they're no trackers." He answered with a shrug. "Nothing to worry about."

"So… you were saying…" Anko fidgeted somewhat under his gaze. It was still hard to think that the blonde man in front of her was really a twelve-year-old boy… "You want me to live with you?"

"I never had a real family." Naruto said, his eyes closed and his hand out, waving with his words. "I don't want that for my kid, or any kid, really…" The blonde then walked over to her, and slowly encompassed her in a soft embrace. "You'll live with me, and we'll raise our child together. That's all there is to it."

Anko's eyes narrowed at him, despite wrapping her arms around him in return. "I never said anything about falling for you, brat…"

"Neither did I…" Naruto replied with a warm smile.

---

And so it was, that only scant hours later, Naruto was laying beneath the woman that would bear his child as she snuggled into his chest with his arm wrapped around her while he was lost in thought. '_Even if we don't love each other, we'll still stay together for our baby's sake_' was what they'd ultimately decided. He'd been going over the day in his mind over and over again… but he couldn't accept it. One part of the day always stung him. '_Hinata…_' he thought. '_What am I going to do about her?_' Things didn't always happen the same way, after all…

It'd taken him hours, but in the end he came to the conclusion that he had to apologize…

---

Naruto spent the next morning tracking down Team Eight. He didn't have a good reason for asking the old man about it, so he just looked for himself, and found them in training area sixteen. He took the time to watch them for a while, and it was just as he'd thought… Hinata was always sitting on the sidelines, never exerting herself. Without him, she had no will to fight or better herself, and he could feel it ripping him apart inside. With a deep breath, he stood and walked into the clearing.

Immediately, Kurenai stepped out in front of Hinata defensively, while Kiba and Shino took to either side of her. "I came to talk to Hinata." The blonde said, holding out his hands to show he meant no harm. "To apologize, and do what I can to make things right again…"

Kiba took a step forward and glared at the blonde man. "And what makes you think she wants to talk to _you_!?" He yelled.

Naruto shrugged in return. "Because I'm the one who fucked up?" he deadpanned. When Kiba continued to growl at him, Naruto glared at the boy, letting his eyes shift from cerulean to crimson for only an instant. "Kurenai… call off the boys. You know I'd rip them apart if they tried anything, and this is a _private_ conversation."

Kiba was about to charge the blonde when Kurenai flicked her wrist in his direction, and waved him off. "Both of you, leave… I'll stay here and keep her safe."

The pair beside them turned and walked away, only Shino doing so silently. At this, Naruto began to walk towards Hinata, only stopping when Kurenai pulled a kunai from behind her. Naruto sighed, and flew through hand seals, enshrouding them in mist. "A variation of a few jutsu… it's just for privacy." Naruto then put his hands in a basic ram seal, taking a fairly sturdy stance. "You'd better appreciate this… once the jutsu is put up, it's _damn_ hard to break…"

After a moment, the pair were blinded by a flash of light, and a panting and somewhat sweaty twelve-year-old blonde stood before them. "A Genjutsu?" Kurenai asked.

"Yeah… but luckily, it takes so much chakra to get it going that I can use it even with my crappy control." Naruto chuckled, falling on his ass before holding out a hand to the two of them. "Don't worry, I'm fairly harmless right now…"

"N-Naruto-kun…?" Hinata asked, peeking out from behind Kurenai.

The blonde smiled at her curious gaze. "Yeah, Hinata… who else?" and then he sighed. "Truth be told, I like you too, Hinata. I just didn't want to see you hurt when Akatsuki comes to rip the Kyuubi out of my gut… but I was just being an idiot. You're a kunoichi. Chances are, you're going to die on some mission off to somewhere anyway, so it won't matter if I admit it or not. I was pushing everyone away, not just you. It was stupid, and I shouldn't have done it." Naruto could see the tears forming in her eyes, and stood. "If you want the truth, I know what's going to happen in the next few years. I know all about you and your family, and all sorts of things. I also know what it feels like to have the one person you want to believe in you not even register that you exist…" Naruto lowered his head in shame, before dropping to his knees and bowing to the kunoichi before him. "I was wrong, and I know it. Just please… forgive me."

Naruto's head shot up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and his gaze met that of Hinata. "I… I forgive you, Naruto-kun."

"You _did_ say some confusing stuff, though…" Kurenai interjected. "Such as… what do you know about Hinata's family?"

"That she deserves a better one?" Naruto quipped.

Kurenai narrowed her eyes at the blonde. "Good answer, boy…"

Naruto then stood up, dusting himself off before smiling. "That brings me to my next point… I was thinking a lot last night, and… to be honest, I think Hinata deserves better than the Hyuuga. So, I'm going to let her move in with me if she wants to."

The light 'thump' that followed notified Naruto and Kurenai to the fact that Hinata had just fainted. "She… actually did a lot better than I would've thought…" Naruto muttered.

"Yeah, me too…" Kurenai added, holding her chin in a 'thinking' pose. "So, tell me about the Genjutsu you used…"

Naruto smirked. Of course the 'Genjutsu Mistress' would be interested in that… "It's actually a reversed form of the Genjutsu Tsunade of the Sannin uses to stay young-looking. I wouldn't mind teaching it to you, I mean, if I had _your_ body I wouldn't want to give that up, either…" Naruto could've laughed when he caught the tiniest bit of pink on the Jounin's cheeks.

Then the blonde grew solemn. "I don't plan on giving up using it, though… even for Hinata." And then he smirked. "I wouldn't mind teaching her my version, though…" But then another realization hit him, and he let himself fall back onto the hard ground. "Hinata's going to hate me, though…"

"Why?" Kurenai asked. She was positively giddy about learning Tsunade's jutsu, despite the fact that she didn't show it in the least.

Naruto slapped his hand over his eyes before answering. He knew Kurenai was going to _explode _when she found out… "…Anko's pregnant."

…and explode she did.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN ANKO'S PREGNANT!?" Kurenai roared, as she immediately began a volley of kicks to the boy's side. "You knocked up Anko when you had a damn good idea about Hinata's feelings toward you!? How low is that!?"

As soon as Kurenai let up, which wasn't for another ten minutes of yelling and kicking, Naruto answered. "Yes, I know… I'm a stupid little brat. I get that enough from the fucking _fox_…"

"**HEY!"**The Kyuubi roared indignantly, even though it never slowed down the blonde's rant.

"…but believe me when I say that I never planned on knocking her up. We just got drunk one night, had sex, and that led to us sleeping together on a regular basis." This got him a glare from the woman. "Hey! Name _one_ woman aside from maybe Hinata that'd _ever_ let the 'Kyuubi brat' into their bed!" Kurenai's eyes widening almost imperceptibly in realization was all Naruto wanted to see. "Anko was the only person I could possibly screw around with that I _wouldn't_ fall in love with. I didn't want anyone I cared about to die again, so I chose _not_ to care at all… but that was wrong." Naruto was on the verge of tears as he continued, staring at the ground. "Truth be told, I have… problems. I've always had a problem coming to terms with my emotions... hell, I 'fall in love' with any girl who's nice to me, and every person who doesn't hate me from the second they spot me feels like the closest family I could ever want…" Naruto stared straight up into the mist, which was surprisingly still in place, drowning out all sight and sound within it. "So I stopped that, by cutting all ties I had to other people. It was stupid and wrong, but that's what I did."

Kurenai was about to speak, when a sniffle from the girl they'd all but forgotten caught the attention of the two. "N-Naruto-kun… is i-it… t-true?"

The blonde, who for the life of him couldn't pin down just what Hinata was talking about, just nodded and answered with a simple "Yes, Hinata… it is." He expected the girl to slap him, or yell at him…

Hinata flung herself on him, bawling into his shoulder. This continued for several minutes, during which Naruto looked to Kurenai for aid, only to get a shrug of confusion. "Shh, what's wrong, Hinata?" He asked finally, patting the girl's back.

"Ah-all of it…" She answered, still sniffling. "Naruto-kun's life is j-just so _sad_…" She continued sniffling as Naruto patted her back. Neither of the others had the heart to speak. "B-but I d-don't c-care if Naruto-kun is having a b-baby, or if he l-loves another girl, b-because I j-just want N-Naruto-k-kun to be hu-happy…"

"You heard all that, huh?" Naruto groaned through gritted teeth. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "Hinata, I just want you to know that I _do_ love you, but with that you'll need to know a few things about me, okay?" The girl nodded, but surprisingly stayed conscious. "Yondaime didn't kill the Kyuubi. He sealed it in me when I was born. For that I've been hated and feared by Konoha all my life, and you would be too if we got involved with each other." This didn't get more than a gasp and more tears for Naruto's sake from her, so he continued. "Also, I've really been around for a _lot_ longer than twelve years. About four years from now, I got caught in a time-loop where I kept dying, so Kyuubi kept pushing my mind back a month over and over for about eighteen years, during which time I developed a jutsu to undo all that time, while retaining my memory of it. I overshot my intended year by a while, though, thus the reason I use that Genjutsu to look older than I am. Are you still with me so far?" Hinata nodded. He really didn't give the girl enough credit… she was _smart._ "Finally, I'm willing to let you move in with me, and even teach you my Genjutsu if you're uncomfortable being with someone that looks so much older than you, okay?"

Hinata backed off for a moment, only to tackle the boy to the ground, snuggling into him while crying out how happy she was. Naruto merely sighed while she did so, inwardly mumbling about his predicament. '_At this rate I'll need an extra dozen rooms in the house…_'

---

Over the next month, Naruto completed his house, which turned out to be a thirty-room mansion by the time he was done with it, complete with three floors and a roof deck. Anko was moved in before it was even fully completed, and Naruto had already started on a guest house along with his Kage Bunshin.

Naruto had spent most of his time training with Team Eight, having reconciled with Kiba by declaring that he and Hinata were officially 'together' now. (This of course put him at odds with Anko, since she still had 'urges' that she wanted the boy to fulfill) This time was spent building Hinata's chakra capacity up to the point where she could use the reversed Genjutsu, while he taught Kurenai the genuine article. They had many laughs with a mishap that left Kurenai trapped in the body of a twelve-year-old for a day while her chakra reserves regenerated to the point where she could break a Genjutsu that was never made to be dispelled, even by the user. Naruto was rolling on the ground howling with laughter when they found out that Hinata was far more 'developed' than Kurenai at that age.

However, when Hinata was beginning to close in on the capacity needed, (Naruto was sure she already had enough, they were just adding more on just in case at this point) the blonde made his way to the Hokage's office. He'd even made an appointment. "Naruto-kun! What brings you to my office today?" The old man asked cheerfully, although whether his mirth was due to the boy's visit, or because he didn't need to replace anything on his door this time, neither knew for certain.

"I want Chuunin rank, old man." Naruto answered simply.

"Well then, you'll be happy to know that we've got a Chuunin Exam coming up soon…" The Hokage said, smiling all the while.

"I know, old man… that's when Oto and Suna are going to invade, and you die by the hand of that snake-bastard." Sarutobi's eyes went wide when Naruto said that, and the blonde clamped a hand over his mouth. "Wait, didn't I already say something about that?" He asked, but the look he got from the old man told him he wanted to know everything. _Now_. "Okay. I'll spill on two conditions. You got me?" The Sandaime nodded, never letting his withering glare leave the boy for an instant. "First, you know just as well as I do how crafty and goddamned _smart_ that snake-bastard Orochimaru is. If word gets out to _anyone_ that we're prepping to repel an invasion, he'll bring in every connection and village he can get to crush us. Iwa, Kumo, _everyone…_" The old man sighed and nodded grimly. "And second, you give me a chance to make Chuunin before the exam so I can be your Honor Guard for the third test."

"Naruto, that is unreasonable…" Sandaime grumbled, but was cut off by the blonde.

"Not as unreasonable as sending you into a fight you _know_ you're going to lose just as much as I do. I'm already low Jounin level _without_ tapping into the Kyuubi's chakra. The fox bastard is the only chance we've got of finishing off the snake-fucker, and you know it!" Naruto yelled. "Sure, calling Tsunade and Jiraiya back to the village _might_ be enough, but then he'd know we're up to something, and pull some shit that could beat them anyway!"

The aging man once again nodded grimly. "So then, what do you suggest we do?"

"First off, call in your ANBU commanders, and just them. The ones listening in right now as well… I don't trust the ANBU any more than our Genin for information when it comes to Orochimaru. Knowing him, he's got spies in every level of our chain of command. I don't even want a single Jounin or ANBU notified of this outside those few if we can help it." The old man nodded again, and with a wave of his hand, seven men and two women dressed in full ANBU gear appeared in the room, four men and one woman wore the regalia of an ANBU Captain, while the other four must've been the room's guards. "Okay then… we can't just go looking for traitors out of the blue… I can't tell you the names of the spies I _do _know, since any of them disappearing this close to his operation would look suspicious. I'll give you those names after, and we'll deal with them then. Anyway, Orochimaru is going to assassinate the Kazekage and take his place, thus ensuring that he has complete control over Suna in order to have them aid in an assault against us. Nothing we can do about that, since if he _knows_ he's going to be killed, that snake bastard would probably go to Kumo and Iwa instead, which would be _worse. _Besides, I know the Godaime Kazekage personally, and we're better off with him than a bastard that'd kill his wife to turn his son into a living weapon by sealing the one-tailed Shukaku into him. I believe Gaara, the previously mentioned Jinchuuriki, is the main reason Orochimaru has for taking over Suna in the first place, since it's relatively easy to provoke him into killing everything that moves. I'll handle Gaara, since I can reason with him, one Jinchuuriki to another. The whole reason he goes crazy is because his seal is too weak anyway, and I can reinforce it." Seeing no objection to this from his audience, Naruto continued. "Orochimaru is also known as the _'esteemed' _Otokage. Oto is his own village full of his little experiments and playthings. Before you ask, we can't invade it because unlike Konoha, their hidden village really is hidden. We weren't even sure if there _was_ an 'Otogakure' back in the future. It all seemed to be at least a dozen bunkers spread out over Rice Country, along with at least three or four times that number in other countries. We'd never find enough of their forces to take them down before they got more allies to back them up."

Naruto sat himself down on one of the chairs in the office, obviously tired of just standing around, before he continued. "The invasion itself happens during the third part of the exam. I'll have taken Gaara out of the battle, probably turned him to our side by then, so no worries about that. What you DO have to worry about are all the summons that come crashing through the walls, and I think Jiraiya can handle those. Just have someone patrol the baths until you pick him up, and you can brief him about this then. I'm pretty sure either of the ladies here would be glad to give him a good beating and then drag him to your office." He was answered by the non-captain woman cracking her knuckles. "There you go, mission assigned." Naruto chuckled, lightening up the mood a little bit before he kept going. "That's really all I remember, I mean, you have to understand that happened like _twenty years_ ago for me…"

Sarutobi nodded. "Yes, it's quite understandable, you've already been enough help, Naruto… you spoke of making Chuunin outside of the exam?"

"Oh yeah, I figured I could just do some Chuunin task to prove I'm good enough, and boom! I'm done." Naruto shrugged, going into a thinking pose before getting a mischievous glint in his eye. "Hey, any chance I could take over a Genin team for a mission, by any chance? That _is_ a Jounin-level job, right? A C-Rank mission should be fine for that…"

The old man blinked. "That works out perfectly, Naruto… we happen to have at least one Jounin out of the village at the moment, the one I'm thinking of on a prolonged A-Rank mission for at least another week, and a foreign man just came in earlier today requesting an escort and guard mission…"

Naruto snorted. "Is his name Tazuna from Wave by any chance?"

The Hokage blinked again. "Yes, as a matter of fact… is this a problem?"

The blonde chuckled. "Nah, it's perfect. I just remember it as my first C-Rank back when I went through Genin the old fashioned way…"

"If that will be all, Naruto, I need to confer with my captains now regarding our plans for the Exam. You can meet the team for your mission here at six tomorrow morning." Sarutobi added, at which Naruto nodded and left.

---

Since today was his last day in the village for a good while, Naruto decided along with Hinata and Kurenai that today was when they were going to move Hinata into Naruto's house… whether Hiashi liked it or not. They also concurred that today was probably the best choice to try the aging Genjutsu with Hinata. Needless to say, Kiba was gawking at the girl with twin lines of blood dribbling from his nose while Kurenai was slightly jealous after she'd successfully completed the technique. Naruto couldn't be sure, but he had the impression that her appearance had a similar effect on Shino as it did with Kiba, although he couldn't be certain.

And so they set out for the Hyuuga Estate. All through town everyone's eyes fell upon the Hyuuga heiress, even if they couldn't recognize her. It only took fifteen minutes of walking before a man walked up to Hinata and tried to ask her out, but before he could, Naruto snatched up the girl's hand and claimed her as his own, an act that caused the girl to flush a deeper shade of red than she had previously. With her body structure, they were just lucky the Genjutsu altered the clothes you wore when casting it to fit your new body, or else their trip would've been considerably more embarrassing.

'_She's so much like I remember… but she's just so different, too…_' Naruto thought as he watched Hinata. Having seen her at sixteen years old, he could tell it was unmistakably Hinata, but her baby fat was gone, her features more lean and refined, but her eyes always shone just the same as they had before the Genjutsu. He couldn't help but notice her hair had grown out as well… but he'd ponder that later. They were already walking through the halls of the Hyuuga manor, and Naruto nearly fell to the ground howling in laughter when Neji froze and started leaking blood from his nose at the sight of her.

And then they stood before the door to Hiashi's office. The guards took note of the strange Hyuuga woman with them, and almost immediately ushered them into the room. Hiashi had been reading by candlelight, something that would've struck everyone as regal if they didn't already know what a bastard he was… but at the sight of Hinata, he stood, his book dropped and forgotten, and the teacup still clutched in his hand draining out onto the carpet until it fell and shattered atop his desk. The great leader of the Hyuuga clan was trembling, even his lips quivered as he choked out a single word…

"…Hikari?"

* * *

Before you ask, I've already picked out which team Naruto takes over. Don't try to request one for him… Seriously. That's the kind of shit that, in large quantities, annoys me to the point of questioning whether or not I want to even complete the fic. So just don't do it, ne? 

Also, no asking about the pairings… just… no. That's another pet-peeve of mine.


	4. Contemporary Technicalities

((Insert random groaning noises here))

Bad times… Just don't ask.

* * *

"…Hikari?" 

Hinata's heart froze in her chest… her mother? What… why? He thought Hinata was her mother? Did she really look that much like her? It just wasn't possible in Hinata's eyes, her mother was a great woman, and a strong leader alongside her father until her death…

"You've got the wrong girl." Naruto said, loudly enough to break Hinata from her thoughts. "This is _Hinata_. Frankly I'm glad to see she didn't get any of her looks from you, old bastard…"

"Wh-what!?" Hiashi bellowed as his thoughts were abruptly shattered as well. "What did you do to her, you _demon_!?"

Naruto appeared before Hiashi, his fact not two inches from the clan head's as the blonde knelt upon the man's desk, before anyone in the room could see him move. "You know, I could have you carted away for treason, saying that in front of Kiba and Shino, who have no idea what you're talking about… and then Hinata would become clan head by default, and we wouldn't need to discuss what we came here today to speak on. Your daughter, however, knows everything." Naruto hopped back off the desk, and cheerfully added; "So, when would you like the ANBU to pick you up? I see no downside to this deal!"

Naruto smiled back at the man. His whisker marks apparently grew more defined with age, alongside his canine teeth elongating, giving him a feral quality that would have most men quivering in fear…

"No!" Hinata called out, racing forward and taking Naruto's arm in her own pair. "Please, Naruto-kun… he may be mean, b-but… he's my father!" She pleaded, her eyes tearing up as she gazed intently into his. Naruto was honestly proud of the girl. They'd worked on her stuttering for the better part of their entire training time, and she was making excellent progress.

Nonetheless, Naruto sighed. "I know, I was just messing with him. I'll leave him alone." After saying this, Naruto cupped his hand around Hinata's chin, tilted her head up, and pressed his lips to hers.

Hiashi was furious. "Get away from my daughter this instant, _peasant_!"

Naruto gave the older man a halfhearted glare. "So what, no more 'demon'? Bah… to be honest, I'm probably more _noble_ than Hinata is. Erm, no offense, dear…"

Hinata just snuggled into his chest when he called her 'dear'.

Before Hiashi could put up any argument, Naruto had already jabbed a kunai into his own arm and imbedded it into the wood of the man's desk. "My father was Yondaime Hokage. Go ahead and use that for a blood analysis if you want. If the old man gives you any trouble, just tell him you've got clearance under amendment 3472-C of the Konoha charter."

"What!?" Hiashi yelled again, this time in confusion. The man did _not_ like being confused.

"Well, my entire history is one big secret, which makes up amendment three-four-seven-two, but the 'Dash C' part gives me authorization to tell other people about them." Naruto said, smiling almost idiotically. "By the way, Hinata's moving in with me, we're just here to get her stuff."

By this time, the Hyuuga clan head was already bright red with rage. "This is an outrage! You cannot-!"

"Oh I can…" Naruto said, smiling broadly again. "I already set it up with Sarutobi about a week ago. I'm officially the head of my father's clan, giving me the same rights and privileges that you've got, including a seat on the council which I'll be giving to Hinata whenever she decides the wedding's gonna be." Naruto was interrupted when the girl in his arms collapsed into unconsciousness from the blonde's unorthodox proposal. "Anyway, you wouldn't dare touch her because the second you or anyone else in Konoha raises so much as a finger to bring harm to my girl, I'll call up all of Kyuubi's power, and finish what it started." Hiashi visibly paled at the thought of the Kyuubi running rampant again… Naruto was just lucky that Kurenai had ushered Kiba and Shino out of the room a few moments before he'd said it.

"You wouldn't…" The man said, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Let Kyuubi out? Hell no…" Naruto chimed eccentrically. "What I said was that I'd use its power and kill you myself. The Hokage has given me full authorization to take action against anyone that would do harm to me or my own. That's 3472-_D_, which had I known about from the start, I would've killed over half of Konoha in self defense by now. As soon as Hinata wakes up and accepts my marriage proposal, she'll fall under that category, and you won't even be able to put that seal on her without me killing you within my full legal right to do so." Had Naruto not been laden down by the very girl he spoke of, he would've crossed his arms and posed haughtily.

Hiashi couldn't help but fall back into his chair and stare at the boy. He'd been outfoxed by a… well… a _fox_! Hiashi used every hint of subtlety in his being to mask the deep breath it took to calm down. "I assume there is something you want?" He asked, taking on his political 'game face'.

"As a matter of fact, there is…" Naruto answered.

Hiashi held back a smirk. He knew it… the Kyuubi brat was just like everyone else. He had a price, and if Hiashi could meet it, this whole thing will blow over like it never happened…

"…Your daughter's wellbeing and happiness." Naruto finished, catching Hiashi by surprise. "So your 'all-seeing eyes' didn't catch that one coming, eh? I love Hinata, and there's nothing you can do to keep us apart." Naruto grinned, shaking the girl in his arms lightly. When she wasn't roused, he tried again, and started mumbling about how hard it must be to get one's timing straight as he broke out a tiny bundle of smelling salts to wake her.

"Nnn… Naruto-kun?" She mumbled, barely awake and looking up at him through barely parted eyelids.

"Hinata, marry me?" The blonde asked, receiving a nod before she passed out again, smiling the entire time. "Okay, that settles that, then… Kurenai! Take Hinata to her room and help her get her things, please…" As the older woman came and took Hinata, Naruto walked over and sat down next to Hiashi.

Once he was sure they were alone, the Hyuuga spoke. "So, they say you're from the future…"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "You're a lot less of a bastard in four years."

Hiashi let out a grim chuckle. "Good to know…"

"I think it's because you stopped convincing Hinata she was never going to succeed, and actually tried to help her instead. You failed miserably, mind you, but you still tried, and that's worth a lot to me." Hiashi blinked at the blonde. "You trained Neji yourself, after you two reconciled, and Hanabi didn't turn out _too_ bad… She had a stick up her ass from birth just like most of you Hyuuga, but at least she didn't go Itachi like I thought she would…" Naruto had to laugh at Hiashi's wide-eyed stare when he said that. "She wasn't strong enough to do it, anyway. Just lay off the 'perfection' shit, and she'll be less of a bitch."

Hiashi sighed. "So, I'm a horrible father, am I?"

Naruto glanced over at the man lazily. "Take solace in the fact that you were better than Fugaku. If Hinata wound up like Itachi, the world would probably implode."

Both men shared a soft laugh at that, before a branch member came in to clean up the various messes, and was sent to get sake for the two of them. Hiashi then plucked the bloody kunai from his desk, as the servant was hesitant to even look at it. "Do I really need to have this checked?"

"No, but you will anyway because you're a stickler for detail and a skeptic to the end. That and you're just an ass that has an inbred need to prove everyone else wrong." Naruto sighed. "I can pull off all of the Yondaime's signature jutsu, and I've even improved on a couple of them, but that'll never be enough for you to be sure. Even after you get the results of the test, you'll probably just stare at the picture of your wife, brother, sister-in-law and you smiling that you've got hidden under the book of Hyuuga mandates in the top drawer of your desk for a while, wondering how the hell you could've doubted me in the first place." Naruto said with a shrug. He wasn't sure what was up with Hiashi, but his face was somewhere between constipation and needing to sneeze. "Heh, you and I wound up drinking buddies. I know a lot more about you than I'd care to, really…" They stopped talking again as a new servant girl brought two small bottles of sake in on a tray. The previous boy was probably too scared to come back in the room right then… When she left, they continued. "Anyway, you're not the worst father in the world, or at least you won't be if you lighten up a little. You can go ahead and name Hanabi the heiress, I'm pretty sure Hinata can't be it anymore, anyway… just be nice to her, and she'll be good for the clan, okay?"

Hiashi smiled down at the boy. "And I suppose you're not the worst son-in-law in the world…"

The blonde smiled broadly and chuckled, raising his bottle to Hiashi. "To not being the worst!" The older man solemnly clinked his bottle against Naruto's and they both took a swig.

---

Once Kurenai had succeeded in waking Hinata, the two set into Hinata's room. Kurenai had sent Kiba and Shino off to spar in a nearby training ground, so as not to interrupt them. Since none of Hinata's clothing fit now, it was a simple matter to collect up all of the things that held sentimental value to her, and pack them away in a scroll.

Upon returning to where they left Hiashi and Naruto, they were shocked to find them laughing and joking around like old war buddies. When the men saw Hinata and Kurenai, they sobered themselves for polite conversation, and stood from their seats. "Everything's been sorted out." Naruto said, walking out to meet Hinata. "Hinata can leave the Hyuuga without any complications, and Hanabi will be made the new heiress. Plus, Hinata looks to have about the same sizes as her mom, and Hiashi still has some of her old clothes that he never threw out!" Hiashi nodded along with the blondes words.

Kurenai stepped forward, standing next to the young couple. "So then he's okay with Anko and the baby?" From the fearful shroud that fell over Naruto's features, she'd have to assume Hiashi didn't know about that yet…

"What baby…?" Hiashi asked darkly. "And who's Anko?"

Naruto sighed, standing between Kurenai and Hinata as he answered. "I had a few too many drinks one night, one thing led to another, and I woke up in bed with a woman named Anko. A couple weeks later, she tells me she's pregnant." Naruto could _feel _the rage boiling in Hiashi's eyes as the man glared at him. "Hinata already knew about that, though. Me and Anko aren't together, but we still plan to raise our baby as a family, with Hinata's help."

The Hyuuga head nodded reluctantly, motioning for Hinata to follow him.

"I still don't get what his problem is…" Naruto muttered, scratching the side of his head in confusion.

"Most people tend to like having their first grandbaby be related to them." Kurenai offered, only getting a confused look in return. "The child of his son-in-law is his grandchild, regardless of whether or not he's biologically related to them. That, and any parent would be angry about a situation like this…"

Naruto couldn't do anything but nod in response.

---

Saying Hiashi had 'a few trinkets' of his wife's laying around was like saying there was a pinch of salt in the ocean. A complete understatement… The man hadn't thrown out a single thing that had once belonged to his wife. Hinata only took enough to fill the closet she'd have at Naruto's home, but that was hardly a dent on the large wardrobe her mother once owned, through no fault of her own. Hinata's father would simply buy her mother whatever she wanted, even if she told him not to. Upon hearing this, Naruto considered turning one of the many spare rooms into a wardrobe for her, but Hinata convinced him not to.

It was a simple matter to move Hinata into Naruto's home. It really only took a little over an hour to put everything in her room and get it looking nice. It was sometime during this hour that it finally sunk in that Hinata and Naruto were going to be married, and so she decided they would consummate their union that very night, since based on what Naruto had said about his mission the next day, he'd be gone for almost a month. They also used protection. The last thing Naruto needed was _two_ pregnant women living in his house…

---

The next morning found a bun-haired girl, a Hyuuga with a fate complex, and a boy in a green leotard standing before the Hokage. "You three are to be part of a four-man cell, going out on a long-term C-Rank mission. The point of this is to act as your fourth member's provisional Chuunin test. Based on your own accounts and the success of the mission while acting in place of your team's Jounin sensei, he may be permitted the rank of Chuunin outside of the primary exam." The three Genin looked upon the man with wide eyes. "This is not an often talked about means of attaining the rank, and is only done when one shows promise far beyond their own rank. I can say with little doubt that should he enter single combat with any other member of our village, he stands a good chance of being victorious, regardless of his opponent's rank." Sarutobi spoke from experience, as he'd snuck out of his duties several times in the past weeks to train with the boy so that he could, in the blonde's own eccentric words, 'Beat the shit out of that snake-fucker'. Sarutobi still won every match they had after the first, but he'd admittedly underestimated the boy, causing him to hold back their first fight, and ultimately lose. The boy obviously had skills that were at least low Jounin, and stamina and chakra capacity well beyond that of any recorded Kage.

"How… how is that possible?" Tenten asked rhetorically.

Of course, Sarutobi was a man who couldn't help but teach the youth of his village. "By utilizing his immense chakra capacity and the memory transference abilities of Kage Bunshin, Naruto-kun has accumulated more than thirty years of training in this month alone…" He could only smile as the eyes of the three Genin seemed to bulge out from their skulls, until a click was heard from the door behind them. "Ahh, here he is now…"

As the three Genin spun around, the door opened to reveal a blonde man with bright blue eyes and dark whisker-like marks on his cheeks. He wore simple black clothes under a black jacket with red stripes down the sides and arms, and a red Konoha leaf on the back, not that they could see it yet. He also wore his forehead protector, which now had black cloth, as a second belt, much like Gai and Lee. As far as equipment went, he had a kunai holster strapped to either thigh with what appeared to be dark red bandages, along with a large knife belted over his right shin and several equipment pouches on the black leather belt beneath his forehead protector. They could only guess at what he had hidden elsewhere on his body…

Naruto strode up to stand beside Tenten, whom he smiled at when he noticed she was blushing. "Genin Uzumaki, reporting for acting Jounin duty, sir."

"Good, good…" Sarutobi said, nodding to the boy. "You will all report to the west gate in one hour, to commence the operation."

Naruto scoffed. "People, I'll want you to half that. You're not the green bitches that'd take more than ten minutes to get ready." Team Gai was obviously shocked at the blonde's choice of language in front of the Hokage. "By your leave, sir, I'm already waiting for them at the west gate…" Naruto said, before turning into a puff of smoke, revealing him to be nothing more than a Kage Bunshin.

Sarutobi chuckled. "You heard the man… you've got a half hour to meet him and your client at the gate."

---

Just under twenty minutes later, the newly formed temporary 'Team Naruto' and Tazuna were standing by the gate, checking over their equipment one last time before setting off. "I hope you know I'll be training you in all sorts of things Gai wouldn't during the duration of our trip. I am well aware of Lee's condition, and just so you know, there are many aspects to ninja fighting that do not require chakra, such as wire-fighting and weapons training." By now they were already outside the gate, and continued walking. "For example… Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" With a pop and some smoke, the group was instantly encircled by a dozen Naruto clones. "This is why weapons training and wire training are best used hand-in-hand…" Naruto flicked his wrist, and a kunai with a wire tied to it was caught in his hand, and flew toward the Naruto in front, catching it in the throat, before being pulled back via the wire to impale one of the Naruto clones behind them, and was subsequently used to dispel every clone without once returning to the blonde's hand until the last clone was destroyed. "Aside from the jutsu to make the clones, I used no chakra whatsoever in that maneuver." During the entire presentation, Naruto had never ceased his gait, always walking at the same sedate pace even as he spoke. "I'm sure Tenten wouldn't mind sharing a few tricks about throwing weapons, and I've got a few Ninjutsu to teach her and Neji."

Tenten was nodding along with him, but Neji had other ideas. "The Hyuuga clan has no-…"

Naruto stopped in his tracks, smirking while Neji couldn't see it. "No need for Ninjutsu, I know. That's why I've come up with a little test. You fight me with Jyuuken, and I'll use nothing but Ninjutsu. Hell, I won't even move, and I'll still beat you in three moves." With that, Naruto walked a good ten yards in front of Neji and spun around to face him. "Ready? Go."

Naruto, true to his word, never moved as Neji began sprinting towards him… On his third step, however, Neji was pulled beneath the ground, so only his head was visible, and immediately stopped fidgeting when he saw a second Naruto forming hand seals beside him, ending in tiger while he took in a large breath, and held both. "Wh-what did you do!?"

"Move one was when I used Kage Bunshin a while back. I made fourteen clones, and only destroyed twelve of them. Then, move two was one of my clones using Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu to pull you underground, and the final move was the last clone with a Katon: Goukakkyou no Jutsu roasting your face off." Naruto shrugged. "You give up, or do you want that last clone to beat you the old fashioned way?"

Neji activated his Byakugan, and could see the chakra built up in the clone's chest, as well as another clone still holding his ankles down. "I… lost…" He muttered after a few moments, looking downtrodden for the entire world to see.

"Good to hear." Naruto said, and dispelled the clone building up the fireball while the second dug Neji out of the ground. "You Hyuuga think you're all-powerful because your Jyuuken works on most people, but as soon as you find an opponent that knows what he's fighting, you guys get your asses kicked." Naruto then tossed Neji a small scroll from inside his coat. "That scroll has a handful of basic elemental jutsu in it, since I'm assuming you know the basic three from the academy. I could've beaten you with just those three if I wanted to. They really are some of the best techniques in the ninja world if you use them right." Naruto tossed a copy of the same scroll to Tenten as they started walking again. "When we make camp tonight Neji, I'll expect you to have that fire jutsu down to at least where you can light a campfire, otherwise you're all going to be cold and hungry tonight."

Grumbling under his breath, Neji unrolled the paper to see that the Katon jutsu was the first one. "You planned all of this, didn't you?" he asked.

"Of course I did. Better get to practicing that jutsu now…" Naruto chimed as he began walking again. Three seconds later he noticed a small puddle of water along the side of the road. This of course triggered his memory, and his eyes lit up in realization. Of course, he stopped as soon as he came up next to it, and turned back to his fellow Genin. "Now, who here can tell me what's wrong with the way these two idiots pulled this off?" Naruto asked, getting confused looks from the others. Sighing, he elaborated. "These two are using a Genjutsu to masquerade as a puddle while trying to ambush us. However, it's a sunny day and it hasn't ra-…" Just then, two shinobi leapt from the water, encircling Naruto in the bladed chain spanning between their clawed gauntlets.

'One down' He heard one of them say. 'Damned loudmouth brat' from the other… they were silenced immediately when a clawed hand shot out from behind them, clamping down on their throats with crushing force. "I wasn't finished speaking…" Naruto said, as wisps of red flickered over his body. His eyes were a deep crimson, the marks on his cheeks were bold and pronounced, and when he spoke, one could see that his fangs had doubled in length. "Now if you're not going to be nice and shut up while I finish my lesson, I'll reschedule that, and give them a chance to get in some _target practice_."

Both nodded, or gave as close to a nod as they could in their situation, and Naruto continued. "This is not a C-Rank mission. This is not a _B-_Rank mission. What we're on is an A-Rank mission, people." He gave each wrist a flick, and the Demon Brothers ceased their struggling. Naruto casually flung both corpses to either side of the road, and took several steps towards the Genin and their charge. "I knew this. The Hokage didn't. That's why he gave us this mission. I know I can handle anything this mission can send at us, but you three are different. If you think you can survive this, then we'll keep going. But, if you don't, you'll miss the opportunity to finish a mission ranked higher than most Chuunin get. The opportunity of a lifeline, guys. And you'll get the warm fuzzy feeling of saving an economically starved country. If you want to turn back, I'm not stopping you. You'll be back before anyone realizes you were gone in the first place, but I'm still finishing the mission."

Naruto turned back along the road, and kept on walking to Wave. He was followed by three Genin, and a bridge builder.

* * *

I don't really know why, but giving Naruto the full legal ability to defend himself from Konoha's wrath without ever telling the boy just seems to me like something Sarutobi would do. 

And no, Naruto is not stronger than Sarutobi. Sarutobi is an old man with a limited chakra supply and low stamina compared to when he was in his prime, and thus, Naruto simply needs to take all of the punishment he can dish out and get back up in order to win, which he can do given his stamina, chakra capacity, and healing factor.

Amendment 3472:

A: No one may speak of Uzumaki Naruto's lineage or Jinchuuriki status under penalty of high treason.

B: Uzumaki Naruto is entitled the full rights of a noble clan heir, including additional guard by supplemental Konoha shinobi and full financial coverage until such time as he is of sufficient shinobi rank (Chuunin) and claims his inheritance, respectively.

C: Only Uzumaki Naruto and the acting Hokage may divulge his statuses to those ignorant of them without legal repercussions.

D: Uzumaki Naruto has full right to defend himself or any relation to him by any means he deem fit against any he deem a significant immediate threat.


	5. Team Naruto?

Something that I was asked, that I think I should reiterate… 'We know what's going on with the future Naruto, but where is the present Naruto?' I'd like to take this time to explain that.

There _IS NO_ 'present' Naruto.

The 'future' Naruto essentially killed him by erasing his mind, and replacing it with his own. So, now you know what happened to him.

(Kinda' morbid, ain't it?)

And, I have no idea how anyone could've thought this, but…

**THERE WAS NO VOTE LAST CHAPTER**.

That was a basic rundown of my version of the Sandaime's law as pertains to Naruto and the Kyuubi.

I get so frustrated…

If you don't like technical jargon, you won't really like this chapter. I'm just warning you now. This chapter is all about teaching. Also, I changed a few things related to one of my custom jutsu and Tenten's background. That plot-bunny wouldn't stop raping my leg, so I stuffed it in this fic to get rid of it. So then, I'd like to ask everyone if I've given Tenten a family name in this fic yet or not, if so, I'll have to go back and edit it… I just can't remember.

I have no idea why, but with the new stuff in the document editing, I can't use my normal scene change anymore, which is three little '-' dashes. For some reason, when I uploaded the document, all of them were changed to two dashes, and I can't get it back, so you'll have to live with that until I can fix it.

Also, there is a poll in my profile regarding this fic. I just thought you'd all like to know.

* * *

The day passed uneventfully, with Naruto leading the group ever forward. Neji would stop occasionally to attempt the Katon Jutsu, but more often than not, nothing would happen, and he'd simply walk a little faster to catch up with the rest. Lee had been given an extra spool of ninja wire to 'play around with' as Naruto said it, but Lee decided it better to concentrate on walking at the moment… on his hands, to Naruto's dismay. Tazuna watched the boys with fascination, while Tenten's eyes were constantly locked on their blonde leader… something that did not go unnoticed by the man.

"Okay people, we'll set up camp here tonight." Naruto announced, as the sky just barely began to darken. Upon turning back to the team, he could see their disagreement on their faces. "There is a stream nearby, and a large patch of ground by the road, along with a large number of trees and shrubbery. It's an ideal location for the night." He added as they stepped off the road. "Neji, you take care of the campsite and see if you can't get Tazuna to help. Lee, I'll want you to go find us some firewood. I'm sure Tenten has an axe…" He glanced at the girl, who blushed slightly under his scrutiny. "…_somewhere_ that we could use to split wood if necessary. Tenten, I'll want you to catch us some fish while I refill our canteens." When the other Genin gave him a questioning look, Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "To be honest, I've got about twenty or so spare canteens in a sealing scroll. I'm just too cheap to fill them up back home."

Naruto could swear he heard crickets chirping as the other four stared at him. The blonde waited for someone to say something, but it didn't look like it was going to be anytime soon. After a moment, Tenten shook her head, and walked over to him, and pas him, grabbing his arm along the way. "Let's go Naruto-sensei…"

It only took her a moment to remember that she had no idea where the stream they were heading for was, and then Naruto was back in the lead. Another minute and Naruto was standing beside a large stream, holding out a set of metal needles to Tenten. "These are specially designed for catching things, be it fish, rabbit, or human. Y'see? They've got a place to tie wire on to pull it back, and spines so that whatever you spear will stick on. You've got better aim than I do, so I'll let you keep them." Naruto then began unsealing canteens from a scroll he pulled from his pocket. When Tenten simply stood stock, staring at him, he turned back to her. "You have something to say?"

"Where did you get these? And those canteens, they all look new… like you've never used them before."

"Well I haven't. I just got them all yesterday." Naruto said, and then sighed. "If you're wondering, yes, I stole them. It's not like anyone would sell them to me. I mean, I _did_ leave the amount they were being sold for at the register, but if they'd known it was _me_ buying them, I would've had to pay a fortune for _one_ canteen and a pile of rusty senbon. I did get some normal senbon too, but I picked those up special because I knew we'd be catching fish."

Naruto dunked one of the canteens into the water, but Tenten never moved. The blonde could only sigh again before speaking. "You're curious about me, aren't you? Why else would you have been staring at me the whole way here?"

Tenten had the decency to blush before stepping closer and kneeling down beside him. "I… It's just… who are you, Naruto-sensei? I want to know…"

"First off, you can stop it with all that 'Naruto-sensei' crap… Naruto-senpai or even _kouhai_ would be more appropriate, I think…" He could tell Tenten was confused, and so he stopped her before she could speak. "If I explain myself, if I tell you _everything_, do you promise not to say anything until I'm done speaking?"

She nodded, sitting rapt to his words. "Yes, of course…"

Naruto took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he sat back, laying down on the light grass of the bank. "Then I suppose I should start at the beginning. My name is Uzumaki Naruto; age twelve, Genin rank shinobi of Konohagakure." He could see her mouth open as she wanted to speak, but close just as quickly when she remembered her promise. Smiling, Naruto continued. "What you see here is an elaborate Genjutsu that lets me effectively alter my age. Every one of my features is there, only older. Now, going back to the _beginning_, I'll have to let you know that my past is an S-Class secret that you'd get charged with treason for repeating. Do you understand?"

A vigorous nod was his only answer.

"Okay then. I was used in a complex sealing jutsu by my father, the Yondaime Hokage, to contain the Kyuubi no Youko when he found the thing to be damn near immortal and indestructible…"

"_**You forgot invincible.**_**"** The fox intoned, causing the blonde to scowl. He's always pushed the fox to the back of his mind, otherwise the damn furry menace would drive him insane with his constant nagging and berating.

"Ugh… that damned fox never shuts up… anyway, the entire village hates me, and sees me as something to be feared, beaten and spat upon simply because my body acts as the bars to Kyuubi's prison. If you ask me, they're all fucking idiots. I die of anything other than old age and the seal breaks and the fox kills everything. How hard is that to understand?" Naruto said, motioning along with his hands for emphasis. "Okay, so the bastard fox probably _won't_ get out if I'm killed. The second I die, my soul will collapse in on itself, taking the fox with me. Which is incentive for it to _obey and serve me!_ That way we survive for _that much longer!_" He yelled, poking his stomach repetitively to make his point. Naruto sighed, glancing over to see he still had Tenten's full attention, which might have been a bad thing, since she didn't seem to be blinking as she was staring at him. He thought it was a little creepy even…

Naruto glanced aside for a moment, looking downtrodden. "That's not even what I meant when I was talking about 'the truth'… Sure, the fox is a big secret, but… I know everything that's supposed to happen for the next three years." The blonde took another glimpse at Tenten, and sure enough, a look of confusion and disbelief adorned her features. "There is an organization called Akatsuki that's after the nine Bijuu. After they caught the other eight, they laid siege to Konoha in order to get the ninth." Naruto paused for a moment, pulling his legs up to his chest for comfort, which made the aged blonde look all the more frail. "I had to watch as one by one, they cut down everyone I cared about, all to get at me. I never wanted any help, but those idiots just kept throwing themselves in front of me, thinking it'd help." Naruto's lips curled into a scowl, his brow furrowing in rage. "I never wanted them to help, and they all died. Then after they caught me, and started ripping the Kyuubi out of my stomach, who else but the fox comes forward with a brilliant plot to save his own ass by saving mine… he pushed my mind back about a month, to give me time to prepare for the attack, but it didn't work. Over and over again, I lost, and people died…" Naruto sighed, turning his head away from her so that she couldn't see the tears he could barely hold back. After another moment to compose himself, Naruto continued. "In the end, I came up with a Ninjutsu to send me back further, but… that's not what I want to talk about. At first, I thought I could just beat Akatsuki if I trained hard enough, if I was _good_ enough. So, I went to various teachers and teams, getting each of them to teach me something. I even trained with Team Gai…"

Naruto let his eyes flicker over Tenten once more, only to find that she was so engrossed by his words that she couldn't even nod in response. She was kneeling on the ground by now, sitting on her ankles. One arm was draped over her lap, although he could tell she was in the process of raising it after her other hand, which was slowly nearing her chin on its way to cover what features it could, and the emotions playing over them. "Tenten… I just feel guilty every time I look at you, I don't see _you_, I see the woman I knew three years from now and…"

"We were more than friends, weren't we?" She asked once her fingertips reached her lips, forgetting her promise of silence entirely.

The blonde nodded. "We weren't really _more_ than friends, and we were _just_ friends before the month started repeating itself but… after I started training with you, we became… intimate." Naruto hung his head in silent shame. "I just felt you needed to know."

Tenten's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, even though Naruto wasn't even looking in her direction at the time. "What you're saying… how do I know it's true?"

Naruto couldn't hold back a sad chuckle at her words. "We did more than _sleep together _you know… we talked too. I happen to know that you hate yourself for fitting into the girlish stereotype by loving the color pink, you were rather fond of green before you met your team, but I'm sure everyone understands about that, and you spent your free time training and trying to convince yourself your favorite color is blue, which happens to be my eye color." Naruto stopped for a moment to look into her eyes and point at his. "You're also attracted to feral men, thus the restraining order the Inuzuka clan put on you… wait, that hasn't happened yet, has it? Anyway, you always liked my whisker marks… but where was I? You're an orphan like me, but you were always busy with training to take your mind off it while I used pranks, and of course…" Naruto's cheeks tinged pink as he paused. "You have a small birthmark on the inside of your upper-left thigh, which is covered by all but the least modest of clothing, even some bathing suits and panties…"

Tenten's cheeks were flaring brighter than either of them thought possible. "H-how do you _KNOW_ about that!? _NO ONE _knows about that!"

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle. "I told you, didn't I? We were _intimate_. As in, I've seen every bit of you there is to be seen, although you were a little more developed then…" He added, scratching his chin. "So, do you believe me now?"

Tenten nodded, scowling. Her blush had yet to lessen. "…So then, what do you want from me?"

The blonde was taken aback by her words. He reached out with his closest hand, lifting her eyes to meet his. "I want you to be my friend." He answered, his voice pained by her reluctance to trust in him. Her eyes widened slightly. "You are special to me, Tenten. I just wanted you to know that…" He added, before he turned back to his canteens.

Tenten averted her gaze in reverence, taking a moment to gather her feelings before steeling herself. She had fish to catch, after all…

--

Naruto and Tenten returned to find two tents set up around a somewhat large fire, around which sat Tazuna taking swigs from his jug, Lee untangling a strand of ninja wire that was caught up like fishing line, and Neji sitting smugly as he watched the flames grow. Naruto could've even sworn he saw a _smile_ on the Hyuuga's face, instead of a cold smirk… it must've been a trick of the light.

As Naruto sat down next to Lee, he drew the knife strapped to his shin soundlessly and cut the wire Lee was untangling at the knot. "It's better to just let that stuff go… personally I've got no idea how the hell ninja wire gets tangled up anyway…" After he'd re-sheathed the blade, he shrugged. "It's like fishing wire, I guess…" Naruto glanced over to Tenten. "Speaking of fish…"

She took the hint, and brought out a small basket (that Naruto had scrounged out of one of his scrolls) filled with cleaned and gutted fish. "I'll get to work cooking them." She stated tonelessly.

--

Naruto sat, picking his teeth with an errant fishbone as the team sat in comparable states of contentedness. Tazuna, of course, was already passed out on a nearby futon. The blonde held a contemplative gleam in his eyes, however…

"I think I'm going to work on Taijutsu training for a little while…" He mumbled.

"But, Naruto-sensei…" Lee interjected, raising his hand slightly. "You told us that you would leave our Taijutsu training to Gai-sensei, did you not?"

"Honestly, Lee? Your Taijutsu is easily low Jounin level, which added into your abysmal scores with most other things, equals you out to low Chuunin. I have nothing I could possibly add to your Taijutsu, which is why I'm trying to familiarize you with weapon skills. My own Taijutsu is high Chuunin, at best." Naruto then turned to the other two on their team. "However, I have some things that could help them. Neji, when we get back to town, I'll want you to start wearing weights… I know it's 'un-Hyuuga-like' to do so, but so is the use of Ninjutsu, and you understand the advantage versatility gives you now. Lee wears weights to increase his overall speed and strength. Strength, in all, is unnecessary for Jyuuken, but a speed boost would only be a boon to you in the long run." Neji nodded his head in acquiescence. "Tenten, your skills lie in weapons skills, in essence, the opposite of Lee. You use both long and short-range weapons, but what happens if you are disarmed?"

Tenten glanced at her shoes shyly. "I… erm… pull out another weapon?"

"And if you can't?" Naruto asked, smirking.

Tenten sighed, knowing where he was coming from. In truth, she knew she'd have to train in Taijutsu eventually, but let's face it… she didn't want to get dragged into Lee's training regime… Nodding, she answered. "I die."

"Exactly. If I remember right, your elemental affinity is wind, which is damned lucky, since that only amplifies weapons." Naruto didn't miss how she flinched at his words. They'd have to have a long talk about it after they got back to Konoha… "And I happen to know a wind-based Taijutsu augmentation."

Lee and Neji watched Naruto with trepidation, while Tenten eyed him almost hungrily. "What is a 'Taijutsu augmentation' Naruto-sensei?" Lee asked.

"The use of Ninjutsu or Genjutsu to subsequently enhance one's ability in Taijutsu." Naruto explained, watching as Lee's features drooped in almost palpable disappointment. "But Lee… Your raw tenacity and the flames of youth should be classified as a Taijutsu augmentation, even if they are not!" Naruto added quickly, shooting to his feet and pumping a fist into the air.

A loud cry of "YOSHA!!" Filled the air, nearly waking Tazuna as the entire exchange caused the remaining pair on their team to gape in horror… which was then followed by snickering, and giggling, and then outright laughter from Tenten.

Naruto himself probably didn't even notice it, but he was opening up to Team Gai, and she could see that. The fact that he tried to make Lee feel better would have proven it, even if his private words to her earlier hadn't. He just wasn't the kind of person to keep up a mask in front of people he truly cared about… at least not anymore, he wasn't. They say some people, no matter how old, never grew up. And that even those who did always held a shred of their childhood inside them, no matter how cold or harsh they may seem at first. She hadn't believed them until now. Naruto was just like a big brother to everyone he cared about, and he was finally letting that side of him show. The side that just wanted to play and laugh without a care in the world…

She liked that about him… "So, Naruto-senpai, are you going to teach me, or not?" She asked.

Naruto smiled again and nodded, sitting himself back down. "Okay then, two major examples of Taijutsu augmentation are the Hyuuga clan, and Tsunade of the Sannin. The Hyuuga force chakra into their opponents, and close Tenketsu or cause internal damage with it, and Tsunade uses her vastly superior chakra control to enhance her natural abilities." Tenten was openly salivating at the prospect of learning anything related to Tsunade, her idol. "Now, another thing we have to take into account is a specific branch of Kekkei Genkai related to elemental manipulation. Two examples of these are the Hyouton and Mokuton, which mix wind and water chakra, and earth and water, respectively. Who can tell me the basis for these two bloodlines?"

Neji raised his hand and spoke. "I've never heard of the Hyouton… but since I'm assuming they are similar, they both give the users have an innate affinity for two elemental chakras, instead of just one. The ability to fuse these two elements is only a fortunate secondary effect."

"Correct." Naruto said, smiling even more broadly. "Now can anyone tell me the kind of chakra that supposedly anyone can master, regardless of natural affinity?"

Lee spoke next. "Medical chakra?"

Naruto nodded, excitedly. They were a lot smarter than he thought, at first. "Yes, very good, Lee. So, the theory behind my Taijutsu augmentation is combining my natural wind affinity with medical chakra, similar to these bloodlines. Since Ten-chan has that same wind affinity, I should be able to teach her how to do it, too." Naruto held out his hand, and at the tip of each finger, a spiral of white chakra formed like claws. After a moment, he added as an afterthought, "There are handseals for it, however, so it's possible for almost anyone to use it, but mastering it to the point where you don't need them is key in heated combat." Naruto created six clones, then, and sent five of them out to a perimeter around the camp. "Since it's been a long day, I'll let you all sleep and have my clones watch the camp for the night."

Lee and Neji nodded as they dragged Tazuna and his futon into the 'boys' tent, but Tenten was strangely immobile. "Uhhm, Naruto-senpai… what about you?" She asked.

Naruto eyed her curiously. "Hmm? What about me? I'll just sleep out here, no big deal."

"Yes, it is a big deal!" She said, a tint of red to her cheeks. "It… gets cold at night. I was wondering if, erm… you wanted to share my tent?" Naruto cocked an eyebrow at her request. "Well, you see, I hate the cold, and…" Naruto put a finger to her lips, causing her to flush red again.

"It's okay. If you want, I'll keep you warm." He smiled. "Don't make such a big deal out of it. Two friends sharing body-heat to keep warm… happens all the time on missions."

Her blush still wouldn't fade completely. "I guess I'm just being immature about it, aren't I?"

The blonde chuckled. "You're young, and for that matter, so am I. A little immaturity is okay now and then, especially at your age."

She smiled lightly, before she caught the tail end of his words. "Wait, at my age, what're you implying?"

Naruto smirked. "That you just hit puberty, and your hormones are screwing around with your head." He chuckled, earning himself a bop to the head. "Anyway, we should head to bed. I'll start teaching you elemental manipulation when we get to wave, okay? I know a trick to it, but we're going to need to increase your chakra capacity for it to work."

Tenten nodded, and the two made their way to her tent, not noticing the shadow slinking away in the dark.

--

"So, they know about the Hyouton?" Zabuza asked darkly.

"Yes, Zabuza-sama. I do not know how, but this blonde, 'Naruto' seems to be worth watching out for…" Haku replied.

The ex-Kiri nin just chuckled for a while. "Well, our plans go ahead as scheduled… maybe this'll be fun after all…"

* * *

To all of you that are wondering, I deliberately leave the 'no Sato' off of village names because I personally think they sound better without it. If you want, you can just imagine it there and everyone's happy.

In case you didn't read it up at the top, there's a poll in my profile regarding this fic. I'm just wanting people to know so they can vote if they want.

Senpai- upperclassman/senior person; one who is superior to the speaker

Kouhai- underclassman/junior person; one who is inferior to the speaker

There is no straight 'M' in Japanese, so the word 'se-m-pa-i' does not exist. If it did, it would be 'Semupai' or some other 'm-line' thing. There IS an 'N' though, so 'se-n-pa-i' is feasible. Then again, it all depends on your writing style, and how you speak. So I guess I'm just being too technical with this.

Now, just so you know I'm not pulling ALL of Naruto's new techniques out my ass, I'm going to list all the ones I've come up with so far. I am NOT going to list _what they do_. That's plot-related shit there. Okay, I'll add descriptions for the obvious ones or the non-plot ones, but that's it. Two jutsu don't have names quite yet, and even if they did, even the _names_ give away plot…

Jutsu he came up with over the loops-

Hitsume (White Claw) - Coating the fingers in a spiral of chakra similar to that in a chakra scalpel or other medical jutsu, it can be used to cauterize wounds, inflict blinding pain by tapping into and ripping into and/or ripping apart nerves from the inside, and rip through flesh like wet paper. (He used this on Kakashi for effect number two) I've decided to have it be a wind/medical chakra fusion, but what it does and how it works stays the same.

Elemental Rasengan - (Fuuton, Raiton, Doton, Katon and Suiton Rasengan, using handseals to mold his chakra into an element and then using it to make a Rasengan. He doesn't need handseals for Fuuton Rasengan) Naruto won't have the time to retrain himself in anything but wind before the timeskip, though, so you won't see anything but Fuuton until then. Also, when talking to my Beta, he said that having all of these might make Naruto a _tadbit_ overpowered, so some of them might not show up... ever. Please note that while Fuuton Rasengan doesn't damage Naruto's arm like the Fuuton: Rasenshuuriken, it _is_ significantly _weaker_ than canon Naruto's version of the technique.

Rasengan: Seken Toukai Gekitai (Lit.- Spiral Sphere: World Collapse Repulse) If it had a VIZ translation, it'd probably be Rasengan: 'Wake of World's End' or something to that extent…

And its variant,

Rasen-Hakyoku (Spiral Cataclysm)

I've already come up with a jutsu for after the timeskip, but I can't really give out the name now, since I haven't really decided on one yet… heheh.


	6. Ripples of Fate

I've ALWAYS wanted to know why someone didn't do this in a Zabuza fight… what 'this' is, you'll have to read for yourself, or check the afterword at the end of the chapter, since it's plot-related.

In my opinion, the fight between Kakashi and Zabuza wasn't even a real ninja battle, so I'm going to be showing a bit more skill on Zabuza's part. I mean, the man is a JOUNIN people… the fight looked more like it was a Chuunin brawl than a Jounin battle…

Most of this chapter was written while listening to either Linkin Park, Nightwish or Tay Zonday… so I guess this one's for them, eh? …I've got really weird taste in music, huh? Other than that sort of stuff, I'm just listening to stuff in Japanese… (I can't even understand Japanese)

Also, I have no idea if I've had Naruto ask Team Gai if they've done Tree-Walking and Water-Walking yet, but when I went back and looked, it wasn't there, so I'm assuming I didn't. Mneh, just more jargon you have to read through. XP

A last minute addition, there's a poll in my profile regarding this fic, if you haven't found that out already (since I edited a notice into the last chapter) you can go ahead and vote on that now.

This is officially the longest chapter I've ever written. Enjoy it while you can, I doubt the next one will be nearly as long…

* * *

Naruto awoke early the next morning when one of his clones dispelled, a trick he'd learned early on, just in case he were ever ambushed while asleep. What shocked him, however, was that the girl he was sharing his tent with was currently snuggling into his chest, while sharing his sleeping bag. Naruto glanced at her and blinked. _'How could I have not woken up when she did that!?' _Assuming she'd just gotten into the wrong sleeping bag after having gone to the bathroom in the night or something, Naruto slowly roused the sleeping girl… by repeatedly poking her side.

Naruto knew how uncomfortable it was to be poked there, which is why he was doing it, to wake her up… he didn't expect her to break his finger, though… the girl had one hell of a grip, and by the looks of things, she hadn't even woken up. To his credit, he hadn't made a sound at the pain of his finger snapping, or popping it back into place. So, he continued on to plan two…

"Ten-chan…? Tenten-chan? Wake up, please…" He said, wiggling himself around under her, which only served to make her moan in her sleep as he realized he'd been effectively grinding into her. '_Oh Kami… don't get aroused by this, don't do it, dammit… the last thing I want is for her to break THAT too for poking her!'_ And so was his debacle.

Unbeknownst to him, she'd woken up just after he'd stopped moving. '_What am I doing here? I didn't… I'm laying on top of him!? When did that happen!?_' She thought to herself, going back over her half-waking memories from the previous night… '_I had to go… so I went… and came back to bed. That was it… but my bed was… warmer? I got into the wrong sleeping bag!?_' She continued mentally berating herself until Naruto utilized his final resort…

'_I know I'm probably going to die. I mean, really, if Neji and Lee find us like this, there'll be hell to pay, and if she wakes up first, who knows what she'll think I did…_' Naruto sighed, and then stifled a perverted giggle. '_Well, I might as well die having fun, huh?' _Naruto then reached his hand up between them, under her chest, and did the unthinkable as his last-ditch effort at waking up the bun-haired girl.

He tweaked her left breast.

A resounding 'crack' was heard throughout the campsite, followed by a bellowing cry of "PERVERT!!"

As she backed away to the opposite side of the tent, Naruto nursed his now-bruising cheek with a look of indignation about him. "It woke you up, didn't it? I tried everything I could to get you up, y'know…"

"You didn't have to…" She began, but a set of booming footsteps outside their tent revealed that they were about to be interrupted.

"TENTEN-SAN!" Lee roared, as he ripped a hole just large enough to stick his face through into the end of the tent, just above the door. It took him all of half a second to register the way Tenten clutched her breasts protectively and lock his eyes onto the blonde mop of hair opposite her in a heated glare. "Through what felonious and uncouth act has our acting Sensei defiled you so!?"

"Lee." Naruto stated his name coldly to gain the boys attention, his commanding voice not broaching any leniency. "Tenten-san must've mistakenly climbed into my sleeping bag by mistake in the night, and I was forced to resort to a rather unyouthful method of waking her, drawing on the innate urge all women share to respond violently to any perversion against their person." He said sagely, his voice an odd monotone for the blonde. "At first, I tried calling her name, then I proceeded to prod her with my finger. She then snapped said digit in her sleep, and I became a little… agitated at her lack of response." Naruto then bowed his head low to the girl. "I humbly apologize for the way I wronged you so."

Tenten could only blink for a few moments, before nodding in response to Naruto's claims. "He… he's right, Lee. It was my fault in the first place…"

All of Lee's protests died in his throat when he heard her voice… she was just so… _submissive_. He didn't like this at all, something was wrong with his teammate, and he'd be certain to find out what. "All right, Tenten-san. But, this matter will not die silently, Naruto-san. You will be hearing from me and Gai-sensei in the future."

Naruto nodded. Lee was taking care of his teammates. The blonde could respect that. As Lee walked away, Naruto bowed again to Tenten, who looked surprised at this. "Tenten-chan, I should never have done what I did… I should've thought of some better option." He then gave her a wilting smile while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I guess my old prankster ways got the better of me. It won't happen again."

Tenten was confused, and honestly scared. A part of her hated Naruto for what he did, but another part of her was actually _excited_ by the fact that anyone would be so openly perverse with her. Perhaps some subdued fear that everyone around her simply saw her as 'one of the guys' and didn't think of her as womanly at all? Did she somehow see this as some reassurance of her femininity? It would sound absurd if she wasn't thinking up all this shit herself… maybe it was true, then?

Shaking her head clear of such thoughts for now, she waved Naruto off and shook her head. "No, no it's… you damn well better not try that again, but… I'm fine. Just don't tell _anyone_ I let you off easy, you got me?" She added with a wink. Maybe she'd see where these feelings went, maybe then she'd stop being all introspective… honestly she was starting to freak herself out.

The blonde just blinked stupidly and nodded in response.

--

When they'd finally gotten back onto the road, Neji took point, watching for enemies with his Byakugan, while Tenten and Lee stood opposite their charge, and Naruto took up the rear. All was silent as they walked, Tenten still blushing slightly from what happened earlier, while Lee continued to level as menacing a glare as he could at the blonde. He'd turned his head to glare at him so often, Naruto was starting to wonder if he'd be better off just walking backwards to glare at him more efficiently. Say what you will about his claims of rivalry, but the boy was severely protective of his teammates, even if they didn't need him to protect them.

They made contact with one of Tazuna's old friends from the mainland who'd apparently agreed to ferry him and his ninja escort to Wave before Tazuna had even set out for Konoha. The boat-ride itself was silent, with Naruto walking out in front of the boat atop the water, using the excuse of staying battle-ready in order to get in a little more chakra control training.

After reaching their destination, Naruto helped a blushing Tenten out of the boat, much to Lee's silent dismay. The silence continued until Naruto heard a rustling in the brush, but left it to Tenten to send a kunai flying into the bush. Naruto sighed, knowing what was about to happen, even as she and Lee checked the target, finding only a snow-white rabbit staring cross-eyed in fear at the kunai between its ears.

The blonde watched as Lee picked the fearful bunny up, narrowing his eyes even as he cooed soothing apologies to it, Naruto muttered, "You might want to duck now…"

Of course, everyone paid more attention to Neji when he pushed Tazuna to the ground yelling at them to 'get down'… A massive spinning blade came soaring down, curving widely as it passed over the entire group before embedding itself in a tree.

"So I've been paid to take down a bunch of brats? Damn my luck…" The man standing on the sword groaned halfheartedly.

"Momochi Zabuza… Demon of the hidden mist, former Hunter-nin from Kirigakure, and one of the seven swordsmen of the mist." Naruto stated, his voice the epitome of monotony before he smirked. "You're late."

"Oh, you were expecting me, runt? And who might you be?" Zabuza retorted.

"My name is of little consequence. I'm not in your Bingo Book yet, so you wouldn't even consider me a real Shinobi, isn't that right?" Naruto's smirk grew as Zabuza's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "You know, for a _demon_, you're not all that bad, are you Zabu-chan?"

"What the fuck did you just call me!?" Zabuza spat, dropping down off his blade's hilt and ripping it from the tree.

"Oh, just a little something to get you riled up and inevitably land me the victory when you get sloppy, Zabu-chan." Naruto shrugged. "After all, you're after our client, aren't you?"

"Oh you are so dead…" He growled, forming handseals. "Kirigakure no Jutsu!"

Before the technique could even finish forming the dense mist, Naruto held out his hands with a yawn. "Fuuton: Daitoppa." He said casually, the spiraling winds that formed from his palms blew the mist away and knocked Zabuza back.

Zabuza then disappeared in the eyes of the Genin, reappearing atop the nearby lake and forming signs again. "Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Naruto cocked an eyebrow, forming a one-handed seal and countering. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." With a 'poof' a solitary clone stood beside him. All ten Zabuza clones sneered at him.

"You think the two of you can take us all on?" The original mocked.

Naruto, of all things, snorted and chuckled. "Hell no… Kage Bunshin evenly divides the user's chakra between the clones. Right now, both me and my clone here have half of my original chakra supply. Now, _he's_ going to make some Kage Bunshin…" As he spoke, the clearing was covered in smoke which revealed an additional two hundred clones. "…instead of leaving me with one two-hundredth of my total chakra capacity." And with that, he walked back over to the rest of the team, who had surrounded their client in a defensive pattern. Silently, he outlined his plan to the Genin. "Now, just to piss him off, we're going to walk away like nothing happened." He said, as he began continuing down the path, he added; "Remember, rage on the battlefield only makes you more likely to miss details and make mistakes. In a Chuunin or higher level battle, this can cost you your life."

The three nodded, even Tazuna could see the logic in the blonde's tactic. He didn't quite like the roar Zabuza let out when he saw them seemingly dismiss him as a threat, however. "COME BACK HERE YOU BRATS!!" As the Naruto clones lacked sufficient chakra reserves for large jutsu, they were restricted to Hitsume-enhanced Taijutsu.

When Naruto felt a quarter of his clones dispel from being hit by a water dragon, he stopped and turned back to the man. He didn't like that they hadn't completely passed the waterfront, yet… even though they'd gone a good way down the bank. Motioning for the rest of the team to back off, he walked forward until he'd made it just over a meter onto the water itself. He also noticed that only eighty of his clones remained. Naruto motioned for the initial clone, who'd stood back for just this stage in the fight, to drop down next to him. After whispering into the clone's ear, it dispelled, relaying his plans to the remaining clones.

Thus, thirty of the clones sped off into the brush, while the remaining fifty blitzed the Jounin, charging with reckless abandon. After a large explosion of water blew away an entire front of clones, and the massive sword eradicated the rest, Zabuza stood panting, glaring at the original. He looked much worse for the wear than his due, fighting a mere Genin, with several small gashes covering his body, and a particularly nasty cut bleeding down into his right eye, hindering his sight. It wasn't lost on him that the entire ploy with the clones had done its job, weakening and tiring him out for the original to finish the job.

Zabuza walked forward ominously, his sword held out in one hand, and the other clenching and unclenching in rage. The blonde's unflinching grin was pissing him off. The pair blurred, and Naruto stood, pressing his Hitsume into the broad side of the blade held in front of the man like a shield. Naruto actually had to reinforce his limbs with chakra in order to keep up with the man's raw strength. Zabuza, fed up with their deadlock, flung the blonde away with his own chakra-enhanced show of strength. Of course, he cursed to himself when he saw the three explosive tags the blonde had attacked to the sword, and immediately tossed the massive blade into the air. The resounding explosion sent the blade flying…

…right into Naruto's outstretched hands.

Naruto took a rough stance, mimicking Zabuza as best he could, testing the weight of the blade. He tried his best not to show that it was taking all his strength not to fall over. "Damn, this must be one tough sword to survive those tags…"

Zabuza chuckled when he saw the blonde give the sword an experimental swing and nearly fall over. "Heh, so long as there's chakra flowing through it, my sword is indestructible."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. Suigetsu must not have known, since he'd broken the blade in two in no less than three loops. "Is that so? Hmm… what's it made out of? A good twenty percent chakra ore mix?"

Zabuza grunted. He didn't know if he should be impressed at the blonde's guess, or if he should be surprised. "Twenty-three. Along with forty-eight percent iron, twelve percent carbon, eight percent copper, five percent aluminum, three percent platinum, and a few other metals make up the last percent."

Naruto nodded. "It did feel a little light for just a hunk of iron." He couldn't hide his, admittedly maniacal, smile from Zabuza or the Genin. "So you say it's chakra-conductive, huh?"

"What're you talking about brat?" Zabuza ground out, before he saw and _felt _exactly what the blonde was talking about. Chakra, in massive amounts, flowing directly into the blade.

"You forgot what my element was, didn't you, Zabu-chan?" Naruto cooed, even as he continued to flow chakra into the blade. Raw elemental chakra… _Wind_ chakra…

…Effectively doubling the length of the blade.

Zabuza could only groan out "Aww shit…" before he was on the defensive, dodging his own blade and the four feet of wind chakra extending from the tip of it. Naruto was spinning, twisting, and flowing along with the blade, using its own momentum to move him, while leaving his body as a counterbalance for it.

In all, it didn't look at all like it was his first time even _holding _the blade. Then again, adaptability was its own essential ninja tool. "Maybe I should take up Kenjutsu, eh Zabu-chan!?" Naruto sang out as he laughed, still merely dancing with the sword, barely even registering his opponent now. It was actually rather fun, using a sword that just happened to be bigger than you.

Zabuza had his hands full simply dodging the blade. Every half a second, another strike came at him from a seemingly random angle. "Heh, kill me and you can keep it, boy…" He mused out loud. Their little game of cat and mouse was starting to get fun. He'd forgotten just how much of a rush you could get from repeatedly dodging fatal blows.

"DEAL!" Naruto roared, tossing the sword into the air, and slashing out with innumerable swipes of his Hitsume-tipped claws, while outside of their attention, a Kage Bunshin leapt into the air, catching the blade and coming down upon them with an overhead slash. Just before the pair were killed, another Kage Bunshin used Kawarimi to replace itself with the real Naruto, and latch onto Zabuza's arms. With the added weight, the Jounin couldn't jump back far enough to evade gaining a large gash across his chest, even if the Bunshin holding him was destroyed.

Zabuza, glancing around, found himself facing a ring of blondes, and laughing. A hearty laugh, one from a man amused at the irony of his plight. He'd underestimated the boy, and lost. He regained his senses just in time to feel a chakra-enhanced kick send him straight into a tree, and three senbon embed themselves in his neck.

And thus, was Momochi Zabuza, Demon of the Bloody Mist, defeated. "I thank you for your assistance… He was a formidable opponent, and I could not have defeated him on my ow-" The masked nin was cut off by a sickening 'Cra-THUNK' as the Kubikiri Houchou, Zabuza's blade, embedded itself in the tree, straight through Zabuza's neck, beheading him.

Naruto sighed. "That _was_ a rather tough fight… if you don't mind, I'd like to take the head, and claim the bounty for myself." He said, hefting the sword onto his shoulders, and taking the head, by the hair, in his other hand. "You can dispose of the body however you like." Turning to his team, he nodded his head towards the road ahead of them. "Go on ahead of me, I'll catch up in a bit." When they didn't move, Naruto snapped at them. "NOW!" And thus, the Konoha Genin, plus Tazuna, hastily made their way down the road. Naruto's heart clenched when he heard the barely contained chokes and sobs behind him. "Haku… I'm sorry I had to do that, but you have to understand…" Naruto mumbled, returning the head to its place on Zabuza's shoulders, regardless that he was still quite dead. "He was in the way of my mission, and there were all sorts of complications regarding his being a missing-nin." Haku looked up at him then, tears still flowing from under the mask. "You were never an official ninja. You don't have any of those complications. You could go to nearly any ninja village and be welcomed, especially with your bloodline."

"Why…" Haku choked out. "Why aren't you going to kill me?"

"Because even tools like us deserve a chance at life." Naruto said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Haku looked up at him with wide eyes, and the blonde smiled. "You and I are a lot alike, you know… come with me, to Konoha. I promise you'll have a place for you, and a chance at happiness."

"But… I'm just a useless tool… I'm worthless without Zabuza-sama…" Haku cried.

"Because you never had worth, or because the one who gave you worth is gone?" Naruto asked sternly, bringing Haku's eyes back up to his. "Everyone has worth, Haku. Every single life has meaning. Even death sometimes has meaning." He motioned towards Zabuza's corpse. "Maybe it's time you should move on?" Naruto held out his hand to the still teary-eyed Haku, who glanced at the hand, and then at the boy. "Come with me to Konoha. If you can't find one yourself, then I'll give you a place in this world. You have my word." After a moment, when Haku didn't move, Naruto turned back to the road, and walked away. Before he left earshot, however, he turned back. "Remember what I've said, Haku. My offer stands. I'm sure you can find me if you want to." To punctuate his words, he slammed the Kubikiri Houchou into the ground in front of him.

Haku was left, crying over Zabuza's still-warm body.

--

"So, what was that about?" Neji asked when Naruto came back into the range of his Byakugan.

"Just being friendly and helping to clean up a mess…" Naruto replied.

"Yeah, you seemed _awfully _friendly with her…" Tenten huffed indignantly.

Naruto, not knowing exactly what had set Tenten off, attempted to put forth a solution to the apparent problem. "Actually, Haku claimed to be male…"

Tenten blinked for a few seconds. "Oh, erm, well okay then…" Before simply walking out ahead of the group to hide her blush. '_Stupid, STUPID… Jealous of a BOY!?_' She thought to herself.

After another while, they made it to the town, and everyone, even Naruto and Tazuna, who'd expected and seen it before, were appalled by the living conditions there. Men, women, children, all begging for money or scraps of food on the side of the streets, the strong simply taking what they wanted from the weak… Women huddled together with their children to stave off the sexual advances of thugs with their numbers. It made their blood boil. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto muttered, sending fifty clones, his limit at the moment, to clean up the town and aid the weak and oppressed. Tomorrow, he'd do more, but right now he needed to rest and recover his chakra.

After they were greeted by Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter, Naruto immediately went off to rest while the mother hen made sure the 'children' had a hot meal.

--

The next day, Naruto began the team's training, creating a good four hundred clones, and sending them all out to do 'good' in Wave, improve the economy, aid the weak, and bolster the people, while Naruto himself went back inside to take a nap, leaving each of his team with one Bunshin to train them.

--

With Tenten-

"Now, what we're going to be working on is the Kage Bunshin, or rather, building up your chakra capacity until you can use it efficiently. I'll show you the handseals, I'm going to have you make _ONE_ clone, you got me? Any more could kill you at the moment." Naruto slowly went through the seals, letting Tenten match and memorize them.

Now Tenten, being a natural born overachiever, and never one to be told what to do, pumped as much chakra as she could into the technique… and subsequently made two clones. Panting slightly, she glanced between the pair of clones which looked at her in confusion before all three glanced at their sensei.

"I told you to make _one_ clone. Now you're going to have to spar with me in your tired, sorry, chakra-exhausted state." Naruto said condescendingly, making all three girls flinch. "But, this could prove useful… Tenten, have you mastered tree walking or water walking yet?"

"T-tree walking… I've started water walking, but after I could walk on water, Gai-sensei told me to master it on my own time…" Tenten said, currently having her clones help her stay standing.

Naruto nodded. "Makes sense… Have your clones go find a body of water to finish that up on. Everything your clones learn, including chakra-control exercises, is transferred back to you when they're dispelled. This is the entire reason I'm teaching it to you. This should cut down on your training time significantly. After you finish mastering water walking, I'll have you do an even more advanced version, where you hold a leaf to the bottom of your feet, and other places on your body, _while_ you walk on the water." Tenten just looked at him like he was insane. "Sound impossible doesn't it? That's what makes it such a great chakra control exercise. One of the reasons you should have great control for Kage Bunshin is, it cuts down the cost of making the clones. I mean, you split your chakra evenly between them, but you've _also_ got to make the bodies for them in the first place, which is why you're in better shape than your clones right now. _They_ didn't have to make chakra-constructs of you, now, did they? And, historically the best way of increasing chakra capacity is to burn through all of it, which you've pretty much done already. Hell, we might need to take a break before we get to our sparring just to make sure you don't die on me from chakra exhaustion." The Naruto clone, although not needing oxygen, took a deep breath for theatrics before it continued. "Now, as soon as you can make ten clones, I'll have you start working on elemental chakra with them. Then again, you may not be working with me anymore by the time you can do that, so we'll just play it by ear about that, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay, Naruto-senpai…"

"Well? Shoo! Go train!" He waved the clones away from the poor girl, who flopped back on her butt as soon as she lost their support. "Hmm… yeah, I'll give you fifteen minutes to catch your breath, then we'll do stretches and a general workout for a while before we spar. Once you pop me, your training is over for the day, clear?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath to try and regain her strength a little faster.

--

With Neji-

"Okay, Neji… we're going to be doing some chakra control stuff today." He could've sworn he _felt_ how much Neji wanted to groan at that, but no sound was heard from the Hyuuga. "This should also build up dextral strength for Jyuuken." Neji perked up at this. "Kunai Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto said as he tossed a kunai at Neji's feet. Instantly there were a dozen kunai there. "Keep your hand fully extended, fingers as far as they can get from one another, and place a kunai at the tip of each, and one on your palm. Hold them there with chakra as long as you can. While we do this, we'll be going for a little jog on the nearby river. You _do_ know water walking, don't you?"

Neji nodded. "All Hyuuga learn the exercise prior to graduating the academy to aid in the use of Jyuuken. Those who do not master it by then are held as failures within the clan, like Hinata-sama."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at that. "Hmm? I thought Hinata could already do it…"

Neji scoffed. "A failure like her will never be able to do even such a simple thing…"

The clone's eyes narrowed. "I would appreciate it if you didn't speak of my fiancé in such an ill manner."

The Hyuuga nearly exploded at this new information, but held in his shock and curiosity… mostly. "Your fiancé…? You are engaged to Hinata-sama?" Then Neji smirked. "So you are marrying into the Hyuuga, and Hinata-sama will be relegated into the branch family, then…"

It was Naruto's turn to smirk. "No, she's marrying out of the Hyuuga, and due to stipulations regarding my clan, she will not receive the Caged Bird Seal."

Neji's eyes flew open at this. "What!? That is impossible!"

Naruto smiled. "Nope, very possible… any threat to me or my clan can be dealt unto with the utmost lethality, regardless of said threat's status. Meaning your uncle or the Hyuuga council, whichever would be the ones putting the seal on her would meet an…" Naruto made a show of cracking his knuckles one-handed. "…unfortunate accident shortly thereafter…" Naruto shrugged. "Or before, depends on when I find out about it. It's basically suicide to try it, so I'm fairly confident they won't."

Neji was, in a word, flabbergasted. It took all of his strength to stay on his feet. His pathetic, weak, timid little cousin had beaten the system. She'd defied her fate. _His_ fate… it infuriated him, but at the same time, he couldn't help but be a little proud of his cousin. Maybe she wasn't quite as weak as he thought she was…

"So, when did it happen? You two just… eloped out of the blue?" Neji chuckled sadly.

Naruto nodded. "Yup, pretty much. You were there when we asked Hiashi, I'm sure…" Neji gave him a confused look. "Oh, I'm sure you were… getting a nosebleed at the sight of your own cousin? You're a bit of a freak, aren't you?" Oh, Naruto was going to have _so much_ fun with Neji…

"Th-that was… Hinata-sama!?" Neji spat, still trying to absorb all of the information he was taking in.

"One hell of a growth spurt, wasn't it?" Naruto sang, nearly snorting in laughter at the 'I'm about to sneeze' look Neji had. "Oh, I'm kidding, don't worry. That was a damn fun night we had before I left on this mission, though…" Naruto sighed wistfully, only driving Neji into a more disgusted look. "But anyway, _on to training_! We're going to have you up to snuff in no time!"

"Hai, Naruto-sensei…" Neji mumbled, still shaking his head clear of the images haunting him, and picking up the kunai.

"Now, when we get back to Konoha, I'm going to want you to start wearing weights like Lee, I understand that Lee's amount of weight might be overdoing it for you, but you _are_ both Taijutsu users, and while he wears them for both a strength _and_ speed boost, of which you really don't need strength with the Jyuuken, even you have to admit that additional speed would be a boon." Neji nodded after thinking for a moment. "Also, I'm going to want you to look into your elemental affinity. Not only to see what kind of Ninjutsu you'd learn easiest, but to also see if you can't add your element into your Jyuuken. I have no idea what yours is, but just imagine adding something like fire or lightning into every strike? Or _wind_… man, you'd be able to kill someone even if you miss with that shit…"

Neji blinked, and then nodded fervently. "Hai, Naruto-sensei!" He really liked the idea of killing people with _missed_ strikes… He'd have to speak with Hiashi or the council about this. It was revolutionary… it was extraordinary… it was, well, _cool_!

--

With Lee-

The first thing Lee did when he was alone with the Naruto clone, was punch it square in the jaw, dispelling it. In a matter of moments, another ten clones had appeared, each thinking to fill the dispelled clone's place training the Gai-clone.

"Okay, I get the feeling that you're still a little miffed about the whole thing with Tenten, am I right?" Asked one of the Naruto clones, designated the 'leader' through a series of subtle signals from clone to clone. (Really, he was just the first to show up)

"You could say that, Naruto-san…" Lee huffed.

"You realize that the instant you hit him, the real me knew you did it, right?" Naruto chuckled. When Lee showed no sign of lightening up, he sighed. "Okay then, let's get to training… Well, the Kage Bunshin training I'm doing with Tenten won't work, and the chakra control stuff with Neji is a no-go, too… hmm… I think I've got it… Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Another ten clones popped into existence, motioning for the first clones to back away. "Mass enemy combat… I'm pretty sure Gai'd have trouble teaching you this, right? And you get to hit me until you feel better, everyone wins!"

Lee let out a hum of contemplation, and fell into his classic Goken stance. "I find this acceptable, Naruto-san. Come at me as you will."

One by one, each of the original ten clones that arrived used Kage Bunshin to make another ten clones, and those would attack Lee as well, until only one of the original ten remained. This one held up a hand for Lee to abate his hostilities, and listen. "Now, we're going to do something else. You have received weapons training, similar to Ten-chan, yes?" Naruto could've sworn he heard Lee growl at the affectionate name for his teammate, but he nodded. "Good. We're going to combine your power and aim. I just came up with this off the top of my head, too…" He took out a kunai in each hand, dropped them, and before they struck the ground, he'd flipped through handseals and multiplied them into a dozen each. He then picked up one out of each pile, and flung them into nearby trees. "We're going to try and hit the little ring on the end of each of those, and pop the Kage Bunshin kunai. Makes sense?"

Lee nodded, but tilted his head in confusion. "You say… we?"

Naruto nodded jovially. "Of course! I just came up with this, so I need to try it myself!"

Lee accepted this for now, and they both began the exercise.

--

With Tazuna-

"Are you sure we'll be safe?" Tazuna asked, looking around to the men and clones gathered to help build the bridge.

"Of course. It should take a day or two just for Gato to realize Zabuza failed, so there's no need for anything but clone guards today." The head clone replied.

Tazuna looked down at the ground form his seat on the side of the bridge. "And… what are you planning to do about Gato?"

The Naruto clone shrugged from his place leaning against the railing. "To be honest, I have no idea, but I'm sure the _real_ me is thinking up a solution right now, so I'm not too worried about it."

"So that's what he's doing at home, huh?" Tazuna asked, taking a sip from a mug of coffee he'd procured from home.

Naruto shrugged again. "That, or seducing your daughter." Tazuna promptly spat out his drink. "I'm kidding… wait, nah, that's a great Idea. I should tell the real me about it…" the clone then made another clone, which dispelled, relaying all of its memories to the original, as well as the other Naruto clones.

Tazuna took a moment to glare at the blonde. "You _do_ know I'm going to have to hurt you if you try anything, right?"

The clone chuckled. "What happens, happens… pops." Tazuna spent the rest of his breaks glaring at blondes.

--

With Naruto-

The original blonde spent his time with his arms folded beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling, contemplating. Contemplating what? What to do about Haku, how would Zabuza's apprentice react? What about Gato, would he send someone else now that Zabuza was dead? What about Inari and Tsunami? How were Anko and Hinata doing without him? Was his kid a boy or a girl? Should he just pick an androgynous name like Haku and leave it at that, or let Anko and Hinata deal with the names? What about lunch, he _was_ getting a little hungry… maybe ask Tsunami to make something. She was awfully nice, was that how all moms acted? Was _his_ mom like that? He wondered what all of his clones were doing…

Naruto shook his head free from the clutter. Thinking all day about everything wouldn't get anything done. So he set out to find Tsunami. It only took him a moment, she was in the kitchen, already preparing lunch for everyone.

"Hiyas!" He popped in from the doorway, scaring the poor dark-haired woman, who jumped at the intrusion. Naruto immediately went into combat mode when he saw red. "Oh Kami, are you okay? Dammit, I didn't mean for this to happen…" He clutched out for her left hand, which had a nasty looking cut on her index finger.

"N-no, it's okay, you didn't know I had the knife…" She tried to stop his worrying, but she soon found herself with a blonde mother-hen pushing her into a chair and cleaning her 'wound'…

"No, there's no excuse for it. I'm a ninja, I'm paid to know that sort of shit, and what I did was just damned unprofessional. I can't apologize enough for this…" He said, wrapping the digit delicately in medical gauze. Why the hell didn't he know any decent medical jutsu!? Well… he did know one thing other than the chakra scalpel… "Does this feel better?" He asked, flowing chakra into her finger.

As the boy kneeled before her, tending to her wound, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of pink come to her cheeks. It was then that she noticed that she couldn't feel the pain from her finger… "Oh, yes, it doesn't hurt at all…"

Naruto nodded. "I used a medic-nin jutsu to dull the pain. You'll need to be a little careful, you won't feel anything _else_ from that finger, but at least the pain's gone, right?" She nodded in response. "So, let's see what you were up to? Now that you're injured, I'll have to help with all this, won't I?"

"Oh, n-no, you don't need to do a thing, really…" She protested, but the blonde simply proceeded to clean off the cutting board, salvaging what he could from what she was working on. Apparently, she was making a stew for dinner, and was staring it early.

"No, as the one at fault here, I should make amends. Plus, I'm the one on the payroll here…" He chuckled. Just then, he received the memories of the Kage Bunshin on the bridge… and proceeded to let out a small fit of laughter.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" Tsunami asked, worried that she'd said something wrong.

"Oh, nothing… just something funny popping into my head…" It wasn't a lie, after all… "So, what do I need to do for this?" '_It's not a BAD_ _idea… I'll be nice. If something happens, so be it._' He saw the hesitance in her eyes, but gave her a smile anyway. "Come on, I can't do this all by myself, can I?"

She chuckled, before reaching out with her good hand, pulling another carrot in to be cut.

--

When everyone was happily seated around the table for their late lunch/early dinner, Lee had apparently ceased his hostilities towards the blonde for the moment, although this may be because Tenten had begun to despise him for his horrific training methods, having just dispelled her clones, she had a bit of a headache along with the constant aches of her body. Tazuna also spared Naruto a few rueful glances, none of which were missed by Tsunami. Neji was the only one focused intently on his food, as Naruto was staring intently at his bowl, deep in contemplation… again.

"Why?" The small boy asked. "Why do you all try so hard? You're just going to die!"

Naruto chuckled. "Better watch what you wish for, there. It's not your life you're playing with, ne?"

"How can you be so happy at a time like this!?" Inari yelled. "I hate people like you! You're always so happy, smiling and laughing while people are suffering!"

Naruto continued to smile, even as his killing intent leaked into the room. "I laugh and smile because I enjoy doing so. I know there are people with worse lives that me out there, and if I find them, I'll be sure to put them out of their misery." Everyone in the room was shocked at his cold words. The blonde took a drink and smiled again. "I'm sure they'd be begging for death by now, so why deny them their dearest wish?" Glancing around behind his laced hands, he sighed. "I was wondering what to say when this came up… ugh. The easiest thing to do would be to just spill the truth. But to do that, I'm gonna' need to swear you all to secrecy, you got that?" Several of them nodded, but Naruto wasn't finished. "The 'you rat me out and I kill you to keep you quiet' kind of 'sworn to secrecy'… Tenten-chan already knows, but then again, I wanted her to know."

They were slower in coming, but eventually everyone nodded. "Okay then…" Naruto muttered. "Now to start at the start, huh? I may look old, but I'm actually a twelve-year-old brat. Twelve years ago, my father, the Yondaime Hokage, leader of our village, gave his life to seal away a demon that was attacking our village. In order to do so, he needed a proper container to hold it. The only thing that would work was a newborn child, namely, me. I don't know what happened to my mother, but I assume she died during labor. Either that, or the villagers killed her for birthing a demon-brat…" He chuckled at that, like it was some kind of joke… maybe it was to him. "Anyway, I've been beaten and scorned, living on the streets and scrounging for scraps my entire life. Not a pretty picture. There was one… no, you're not ready to hear about that yet… anyway, this here's the kicker… Four years from now, a group of people called 'Akatsuki' killed me." Naruto let that soak in for a moment, and just before they'd ask questions, he continued. "They ripped the demon out of my gut for their super-weapon, which would kill me in the process, but then the Kyuubi shoved my mind back in time. How, I don't know, he just did. Anyway, after eighteen years of reliving the same month over and over again, which wound up with me dying more than two hundred times in the most gruesome way imaginable, I finally finished my little time-travel technique, which sent me back to a few months ago. That's how I knew about the mission, and about Zabuza, and about Inari here yelling at me. I knew all about this mission since it was the first one I ever went on outside the village. I really just wanted to help, y'know? Since I knew what was gonna' happen anyway, I could fix things and make them better. And for your information, Inari… we won in the end, Gato? Dead… but there were a lot of innocents lost, too. I wanted to fix that."

Everyone in the room was speechless, even Tenten, who knew most of this already. Naruto just continued to eat his meal with a somber expression. After a while, Tsunami walked up to him, holding her hands clasped in front of her chest. "Naruto-kun…"

This sent Tazuna back into 'overprotective father' mode instantly. "Tsunami, you'll stay away from the boy…"

Tsunami gave him a glare, before grabbing Naruto's wrist and dragging him to the door. "Naruto! You. Me. Date. Now." The look on Naruto's face showed shock and confusion as he was bodily dragged from the building before the door slammed behind them.

This left Tazuna, Tenten and Inari sputtering indignantly in reaction. "Well, that was unexpected…" Neji muttered, starting into his food.

"Indeed…" Lee concurred, also digging in.

'_Beaten by a housewife!?_' Tenten bemoaned herself. "What is it with that woman! She's too old to be his girlfriend!"

"Actually…" Neji muttered between bites. "He already has a fiancé back in Konoha…"

A resounding feminine cry of "WHAAAT!?" could be heard all over Wave that evening.

--

"Ts-Tsunami-san?" Naruto asked. They were currently seated in one of the last operating restaurants in Wave, mostly because several others had closed in order to conglomerate their efforts in a single business.

"I'm sorry about that, Naruto-kun… Father is just so overbearing at times…" She mumbled.

"No, no, it's okay. I'm just questioning your choice of dates for tonight, that's all…" Naruto said, scratching the back of his neck.

"No one is going to question two grown adults on a night out…" She added with a shrug.

"That's just it, I may think like an older man, but I'm still only twelve…" He said silently, so as not to be overheard by the few other patrons.

She cocked an eyebrow. "You don't _look_ twelve…"

He chuckled. "Hello? Shinobi? I can do just about anything if I put my mind to it. Old, older, _younger_, hell, I can turn myself into a woman if I want…"

She blinked at that. "Huh… that's amazing…"

"Not really… it's not like any other ninja worth shit can't do it too…" He scoffed.

"I doubt any other shinobi could manage a _time_-_travel_ technique…" She muttered.

"Heeey! That's hush-hush, missy!" Naruto groaned.

"Oh, sorry…" She blushed lightly at her folly.

"No, it's okay, it's not like anyone here could do anything about that, anyway…"

"Do you really plan on killing Gato?" She asked suddenly.

Naruto nodded. "Yes. That bastard needs to die." He said silently. He sighed. "He's a bigger problem than most people think…"

Tsunami nodded. "Father hasn't let me leave the house once since this whole thing started… I suppose that's one of the reasons I've been so irritable lately. Why I had to drag you out here tonight…"

Naruto leaned forward. "It's okay, I like the company…" He tried to place his hand over hers, but she pulled it back.

"Please, don't… it's still been too soon since my husband…" She started sniffling, holding back tears.

"Tell me about him." Tsunami looked at the blonde in surprise, while he just chuckled. "Talking about a dead loved one often helps to alleviate the pain of their passing, which is probably why it hurts so much to think about him. I've lost a lot of people I care about… that happens in a shinobi village. So, tell me about him, please?"

She nodded. "He was… a very strong man. Always thinking on the brighter side of things, and changing what he could for the better. He was like a pillar of strength for me, Inari… the entire village. When he died…" She couldn't hold the tears back any longer.

Naruto scooted out of his booth to sit beside Tsunami, who proceeded to latch onto him and cry into his shoulder. The blonde responded by just holding her lightly, occasionally patting her on the shoulder. After a few moments, Naruto heard her sobs subside somewhat, so he felt it'd be safe to ask more questions. "When did he die?"

She choked up again for a moment, before calming down somewhat. "Ab-about eight months ago…"

"Ahh…" Naruto muttered. "A little longer than I'd thought, but still, far too soon, like you said. I'm sorry…" He tried to move back to his own booth, but she held firmly onto his clothing, lightly shaking her head. "You want me to stay?" She nodded almost imperceptibly. "Alright then, I'll stay." He let his arm wrap around her shoulders again, keeping his other arm at his side.

And so she cried. Naruto never minded her soaking his shirt through with tears, but he hated to see her so broken. With a light sigh, he just waited for her silent sobs to fade…

--

The pair returned to Tsunami's home several hours later, much to Tazuna's dismay. The old man was sitting in their living space, waiting for them to return, and quite sober for once. Inari was nowhere to be seen, and the remaining Genin were seemingly minding their own business… This of course meant Tenten was hiding in the hallway waiting for her chance to pounce on the blonde, and had dragged Neji along behind her, while Lee was off training, his voice still heard through the walls.

"Where have you two been!?" Tazuna roared, never leaving his seat, his rage boiling over in a most controlled fashion befitting a father about to castrate a boy for taking advantage of his 'little girl' no matter how old she was.

Naruto thought for a moment, before taking a step away from Tsunami and shrugging. "It took us a while to find a hotel that was still in business, that's all…"

Tazuna sat there absorbing the blonde's words for an instant before exploding into indignant sputtering and random bouts of foul language. Tsunami on the other hand was blushing profusely while she tried to calm him down. "No, no father! He's just kidding! There was no hotel, and nothing happened! Please, think of your blood pressure!"

The man wouldn't stop, however, and once he'd realized just how bad he'd fucked up, Naruto hit a pressure point on the man's neck, causing him to slump over unconscious. "I'm sorry about that… maybe I should just give up pranks for good, they always seem to go awry these days…"

If that wasn't enough, a tearful Tenten popped from her hiding place, and landed a solid right hook to his jaw. "You bastard! Just going off flirting and screwing anyone that struts in front of you, I hope you just fall over and die!"

A thoroughly confused blonde watched the bun-haired brunette storm out of the house, nursing his nearly dislocated jawbone. Tsunami was thoroughly surprised, but more incensed regarding that she'd just been reduced to a common tramp in the eyes of a young girl. Naruto then blinked when Neji gave him the universal man-sign for '_go after her you idiot!_' while glaring at him. It took the blonde just under three seconds to confirm his jaw wasn't broken and dash out the door, wondering what the hell he'd done to piss the girl off so badly…

_Tenten had been waiting for Naruto to return for just over two hours now, twiddling her thumbs while she sat at the table where they'd eaten. Most people would just think she was impatient, but those that knew her could see the way she sat, and the way her eyes glistened… she was unhappy, to put it mildly._

"_What's wrong?" Neji asked stoically as he walked into the room._

_She flinched at his voice, turning towards him sharply and shaking her head. "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine…"_

_He sighed, sitting down next to her and massaging the bridge of his nose. "It's Naruto-sensei, isn't it?"_

_She blinked at him for a moment before nodding softly. She would never expect NEJI to be the one to try and figure out her problems… "He's just been out for so long, who knows what could've happened to him?"_

_Neji could've chuckled if it wouldn't have shattered the carefully constructed image of 'the noble Hyuuga' that he'd built up for so long. "He has already bested a man of Jounin level on this very mission. What could he possibly fail to handle that your company would better serve him?"_

_She thought over his words for a moment, and nodded. "So he's fine then… but still, he's on a date, right?" Tenten was downtrodden, and it showed in her voice. Her own disappointment at… what? That she didn't jump in and sweep him away while she could? She didn't like him, right? It didn't matter how funny or cute he was, or how strong he happened to be… She couldn't like her sensei, right?_

_Neji quirked an eyebrow. "He is already engaged to be married."_

_Her head snapped towards him so fast that an audible 'crack' was heard. "What did you say!?"_

"_He told me himself; he is to be wed to my younger cousin Hinata-sama…" Neji said sagely, nodding to himself. "This isn't a problem is it?"_

_She shook her head. Her eyed began to puff up and moisten, while she used all her will to keep her lower lip from quivering. "No, not at all…"_

_Neji discreetly took a deep breath before he asked her the question he knew she wanted to ask herself. "Do you love him?"_

_Her eyes widened, and tears finally spilled from them. "No, of course I don't! He's just a flirty bastard… trying to take advantage of me…"_

_Neji sighed. "You should talk to him before you jump to conclusions. Assumptions get you killed in our line of work, remember?"_

_She nodded. She'd just started to sort out her feelings for the man, boy, whatever… she couldn't just let this die without a fight… "Will you… stay and help…?" She asked. His affirmative nod gave her the strength to plot her ambush…_

"I'm such an idiot…" Tenten muttered as she leaned against a tree. She'd been running without direction for at least ten minutes, and finally cried herself into exhaustion. '_of course he'd already have someone, but he's such a flirt, and so charming… too good to be true…_' A new wave of tears struck her, blurring her vision to the point where Naruto appeared to be a fuzzy patch of yellow and red to her when he finally caught up. "Th'fuck _you_ want!?" She slurred.

"To talk…" Naruto responded softly, kneeling beside her, just out of her swing radius should she try to punch him again. "I want to know why you're so angry; it can't be Tsunami's fault…"

"You and your hussy…" She growled. "What about your _fiancé_, you bastard!?"

Naruto blinked. "Hinata-chan? It's not like she's some big secret. Besides, it wasn't like me and Tsunami were on a _date_… she just wanted an excuse to get out of the house, is all. I was joking with the old man, y'know…"

"Then… what were you doing for all that time?" She asked, her rage slowly abating.

"Talking, about everything." Naruto answered. "That takes a damn long time, y'know… a lot of it was me asking for tips on raising a son." This caught her attention, and he smirked when he knew she was hanging on his every word. He slunk back and leaned against another tree. "In about seven months, I'm going to be a father."

Tenten was dumbfounded. She didn't know how to respond to that at all… there wasn't just a woman waiting for him back home, but a _pregnant_ woman… she decided to just fold herself up into as small a ball as possible then. "I see… so Hinata is pregnant, then…"

Naruto gave off a sheepish laugh while rubbing the back of his neck. "Uhhm, no… Anko-chan is pregnant."

Now, Tenten didn't know how to react. She started by gaping slack-jawed at the blonde, before her confusion gave way to pure rage. She didn't care to know why she was angry, it satisfied her to know that she was, and she left it at that. "How… what the fuck!? What are you talking about, how many women are you juggling you damned lecherous bastard!?"

Naruto blinked for a moment, before answering confusedly. "What do you mean, 'juggling'? Hinata-chan is planning on helping us raise the baby, like a second mother. Don't get me wrong, I like Anko-chan, but I love Hinata-chan. I don't even know my kid, but… it's mine, and I love him… her… too."

"So you're just a philandering bastard…" She scoffed. Insulting him didn't make her feel any better like she thought it would, but it was better than just freezing up and sputtering like an idiot.

The blonde sighed. "I asked Hinata to marry me after she knew Anko was pregnant." This shut up the brunette. "And right now, it's just the three of us… four if you count the kid. Maybe I _should_ marry Anko… I could, given the clan restoration laws…"

"Clan… restoration laws…?" Tenten asked warily, wiping away her tears to get a better view of the blonde.

"Yeah, since my father was the Yondaime, his family instantly became a clan when he became Hokage. Since I'm the last member of a 'noble clan' I can have a few wives and nobody can say anything… Personally, when I did the whole 'time-travel' thing, I didn't want to marry _anyone_, so it never really crossed my mind." Naruto shrugged. "I thought that anyone I got close to would wind up dead." Getting up off the ground and patting the dirt from his butt, Naruto walked over to Tenten and helped her to her feet with a smile. "But that might not happen if I go on the offensive and kill my enemies before they can target my loved ones."

Tenten slumped back down onto the ground, tears refilling her eyes. '_So then, he's not cheating on her? I still have a chance? He probably hates me now… I'd hate me by now…_' She just felt so weak, it was so unlike her, but she couldn't help it. Some part of her had collapsed, a pillar of strength within her being… until she saw a hand in front of her, held out by Naruto to help her up. The blonde simply stood there, smiling. It was a wide, happy, _genuine_ smile that she couldn't help but return. She never took his hand, though… "Why is it, that as soon as I thought you were taken, I felt like the whole world had collapsed around me, and now… I'm just so…" She searched through her memories to find an emotion that matched what she felt then, but to no avail, the closest she could come was… "Happy?"

Naruto still smiled, but his eyes widened slightly, and gained a knowing gleam. "I think that's what's known as a 'crush'…"

She couldn't help but chuckle. He was so open and jovial, even now… "Naruto-senpai… I… I think I like you…"

Naruto nodded, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy. "Ten-chan, I think I might like you too…"

She didn't care if it was just a crush, she liked a boy, and she wouldn't let anything stand between her and what she wanted; namely Naruto. He knew he didn't love her, and she knew that he knew, but neither cared. They liked each other, and that was enough for now. "So then… what do we do?" She asked.

"Now?" Naruto answered her question with his own. "We get you up off the ground, and back to the house, and then we sleep on what to do tomorrow. Once we get back to Konoha, I'll need to see if Hinata-chan and Anko-chan would be okay with adding you to _us_, and if they're okay with it, I'm okay with it." He finished with a wide, toothy grin that made her giggle before she finally took his hand.

"Okay, then…" she said happily, and let him lead her back to their temporary lodgings.

--

The next day, everyone was curious as to what had changed between Naruto and Tenten. They were constantly blushing, joking, flirting or giggling in the presence of the other… No one could pin down just what was going on, but deep down, everyone knew the two were acting like a grade-school couple… an innocent love between friends; a mutual crush. Tazuna had actually joked with Tsunami that she'd missed her chance with the boy, only to get a firm slap to the back of the head, telling him he had no idea what he'd been talking about.

After he'd significantly cleaned up the town, and had re-established a law-enforcement system, Naruto ceased making clones to go around and help the town, instead saving his energy in case Tazuna and the bridge crew were attacked, and needed him. After all, Zabuza may have been dead, but Gato could still hire someone else, or Haku could come back for revenge… there was no telling what might actually happen, now. Just because of this, Naruto had decided something earlier…

_Naruto, Gai's Genin, and Tazuna's family all stood in the middle of their living room. Naruto had called them all there, and everyone save him was a little jittery about the meeting, even if they didn't show it. "Okay, from now on, we can't separate the team to protect two places, so I'm going to have Tsunami and Inari come with us to the bridge, that way, Tenten, Lee and Neji can protect all three of you in the event of an attack." Naruto turned to his fellow Genin then, his features and voice stern and composed. "I'm expecting some mercenaries… just normal hired thugs with swords, nothing to worry about too much, except in their numbers. When the attack comes, and I'm sure it will, you'll secure Tazuna, Tsunami and Inari, and then back me up. I'll take care of any shinobi threat, but I'll leave the non-shinobi to you three, do you understand?" The three nodded, and Naruto continued. "There may be a LOT of mercenaries, anywhere between twenty and a hundred. Are you three still so sure of yourselves?" The three were shocked to be sure, but each gave a hesitant nod in response. Naruto then motioned for Tazuna to lead the way to the bridge, even though all of them knew the way already._

This was three days ago, and there had been no attack. Every day was peaceful, and since Naruto's actions in the towns, the number of volunteer workers had steadily increased. Things were working out well… too well. Naruto knew that there would be an offensive move on Gato's part soon. The bridge was to be completed in another four days with all the help that they'd been getting, and now Naruto was beginning to feel paranoia creep into his mind. There was no way Gato would sit by and let the bridge be built. And Naruto was right…

When they arrived, several people who'd shown up early had been killed on the spot… burnt to a crisp, shredded, or crushed… definitely the work of a ninja. There was no one in the area left alive, Naruto and the rest could only hope that some had been able to flee… "Everyone, defensive positions…" The Genin nodded and surrounded the family while Naruto slowly made his way toward the bridge.

"Wait, Naruto!" Tenten called, causing him to halt, his eyes still locked on the bridge, and his senses fully extended to notify him of any danger. When he felt none, he turned back to see Tenten running toward him. When she slowly stopped in front of him, she began to fidget uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Tenten, what is it?" He asked, leaning down slightly.

"Naruto… come back safe, okay?" She asked, but before he could speak, she'd hopped up and pecked her lips to his cheek. By the time he could react, she was halfway back to her teammates. When she'd rejoined the formation, she waved to him. "Come back safe, you hear me!?"

Naruto chuckled and nodded deeply. He couldn't keep the smile from his face, even as he made for the bridge…

Upon his arrival, he continued to walk down the long stretch, always coming closer to his opponent. Naruto's eyes widened slightly before they narrowed. This was possibly the last thing he wanted to see right now… the one thing he didn't want to deal with right now, and the one thing he thought he could wait to confront.

What he found was a man…

…wearing a black cloak with red clouds.

* * *

CLIFFHANGER AHOY!! Kekekekeke…

Yes, when I said 'this' I meant lopping off Zabuza's head after he's been put into the 'near-death state' I mean, honestly…

By the way, how I used the term 'tweaking her boob' meant 'firmly pinching and/or twisting her nipple' which is actually quite painful to such a sensitive area. (Although I'm led to believe it's quite stimulating in an intimate situation) If I used the term wrong, I can always change it later…

I always put notices like this in both the beginning and end of chapters, so I'm going to stick it here too. I have a poll going in my profile regarding whether or not to have Tsunami fall for Naruto. Go ahead and vote if you like. (Please don't do it in reviews, use the poll in my profile. Reviews don't count)

And yes, I did the math. The makeup of the sword that I came up with equals one hundred percent. I have no idea if that'd really make an indestructible sword, but hey, this is a fic. I can doll out whatever BS I want.

Hell, I don't even know what iron/carbon percent mix makes steel, so I just stuck it at twelve percent carbon. Also, I'm still wondering if 'Kubikiri Houchou' is the right name for the sword. If not, I'll edit it later.

If you note the one-handed knuckle cracking, yes, that's from Inuyasha. I used to be able to do it myself, but I'm pretty sure being able to is actually a sign of highly damaged cartilage in your fingers, so it's a bad thing to do it, anyway.

What was 'that one thing' that Naruto will not speak of? ZOMG PLOT!! It plays a big part in the story later on. Trust me, it's a brain-fucker.

If you're wondering about why Naruto taking Tsunami to a hotel is bad… maybe you shouldn't be reading my fics… Anyway, he was referencing 'love motels' at which one can rent a room for an hour or two, and have some private fun with their girlfriend/significant other and have no one be the wiser. I hear they actually do surprisingly well business-wise… (And no, Naruto never took Tsunami to one of those places. It was just a joke to get Tazuna riled up. Funny as hell if you get the reference when you first read it)


	7. Whimsical Hearts

I've decided to just add Tsunami to the harem, since I apparently can't have more than one poll in my profile at once, and more than half of the votes were to add her to the harem, while the other three choices were all not to. That one choice got more than half the votes.

And no, Haku will not be part of the harem.

That doesn't mean it's full yet. The full harem (counting Anko and Tsunami) is six girls. Who the last two are, is a _secret_. XP

Feel free to guess if you like, there's no prize if you get it right, though.

* * *

Naruto stood, glaring at the cloaked man for several seconds, before he took several steps forward. "Kakuzu…" He growled. "Akatsuki… I'll kill every one of you, every single one!" Naruto yelled.

"I don't know what grudge you have against our organization, brat… I'm just here to destroy this bridge…" The man responded… and then he noticed the marks on the blonde's cheeks. "Jinchuuriki…"

"So, where's your partner? Isn't Hidan here, too?" Naruto asked guardedly, already preparing a Rasengan in one hand, and a kunai in the other.

"My partner is dead… and I don't know anyone by the name of Hidan." The cloaked man began walking forward. "If you are here to protect this place, I'm going to have to stop you… although I can't kill you."

Naruto flicked his wrist, and three kunai were held in his hand instead of one. "You know, Gato is just going to go back on your little deal…"

Kakuzu shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. If he pays me, I get my money. If he doesn't, I'll kill him and take his entire fortune… In fact, I'm hoping he betrays me…"

"Ah, I see…" Naruto said, throwing the Kunai as a giant mass of swirling black tendrils emanating from a white mask in its center erupted from beneath the stone next to him. Kakuzu dodged all three projectiles as he commanded his beast to attack. A massive pillar of flame erupted from the mask, leaving only a puddle of molten stone and steel where the blonde had stood, as Naruto thrust his Rasengan into the man's back, having used Kawarimi to replace himself with one of his thrown kunai.

"Impressive, boy…" Kakuzu muttered, as the sphere of chakra ground against his stone-like skin. "But futile…"

"Is it?" Naruto mumbled, letting the sphere die down before placing his palm against his opponent's back. Kakuzu froze when the front of his chest exploded.

"H-how…?" He gurgled, dashing away from the blonde.

Naruto smirked. _'It's a damn good thing I remember the Jyuuken basics Hinata-chan taught me…'_ He chuckled. "Not perfect for every situation, but it has its moments…" He'd pumped enough chakra to make a hundred Kage Bunshin into a single lance from his palm, more than enough to pierce Kakuzu's 'ultimate defense'… Naruto sighed. When would people learn there was no such thing?

And then Naruto found that he was surrounded… a masked beast to each side and behind him, and Kakuzu ahead of him. "You know brat, it's been a long time since I've had to go all out…"

"Yeah, you're probably getting rusty, and you've only got your 'water' heart left…" Naruto smirked when Kakuzu's eyes widened. "It makes sense with all this water around that you'd keep water for yourself, since it's also the most powerful defensive element you have left."

He smirked behind the high collar of his Akatsuki cloak. "You are smarter than you look, brat… and skilled. I'll be sure to take your heart once our fight is over…"

Naruto gave the man a wide and obviously fake smile. "I'm wind affinity, by the way."

"Interesting…" Kakuzu muttered, forming a water dragon behind him as each of his masks prepared an attack of their own. Of course, he didn't know what he was aiming at was a Kage Bunshin, but that was the entire point, wasn't it?

Of course, when walls of ice rose up to block each of the attacks, Naruto knew Haku didn't notice either. Naruto flung himself up from the side of the bridge, and used a blade of wind to slice the fire mask in half. Now that his own elemental weakness was gone, his own disadvantage in the situation was lessened significantly. When he saw Haku step out of one of the massive mirrors, he smiled. "You know, that's not me…" He was silenced immediately when the massive form of Kubikiri Houchou was stabbed into the bridge in front of him.

"This blade is yours now… I will accompany you to Konoha, if your offer still stands?"

"Of course, as long as you answer one question for me…" Haku quirked an eyebrow behind the hunter-nin mask as Naruto wrenched the blade free. "I know you call yourself a boy, but you're really a girl, aren't you?"

Haku paused for a moment. "Yes, I am." She replied.

"HA! I knew it!" Naruto cheered. "Now, let's kick this guy's ass." Naruto's clone made another fifty clones which scattered, several heading off towards the Genin and Tazuna's family. Haku created several more mirrors which encircled them and their enemies as Naruto charged at Kakuzu, with several clones blitzing both of the remaining masks. Haku understood the unsaid orders to target the weaker enemies first, raining senbon down upon them

"Now, we're on even ground…" Kakuzu said stoically.

"Not really. If memory serves, you're restricted to water techniques, while I could easily hit you with an earth jutsu… that and I'm sure I've got more chakra than you, since I'm a Jinchuuriki." Naruto said, charging his blade full of wind chakra. "But since I don't know any offensive earth jutsu, I'll just beat you the old fashioned way." Naruto said, before he charged. Immediately, Naruto was reminded of his fight with Zabuza. His opponent was constantly on the defensive.

Naruto noticed Kakuzu flinch. One of his masks had been destroyed… now all that was left was water and wind. He needed to finish this quickly. And so, he leapt back and launched another water dragon at the blonde, who merely threw his blade at him, before being struck. It managed to nick his arm as it passed by, and the blonde… turned into a puff of smoke.

Naruto caught the blade and sprinted to strike Kakuzu from behind, but the man wasn't an S-Class criminal for nothing… he dodged almost effortlessly, wincing again. Now it was just him. Mirrors of ice formed all around them, and an image of Haku appeared in each of them. "If you see a clear shot, go ahead and take it… but I'm not backing away." Naruto said, before rushing forward again. Now, all of Naruto's clones were circling them, standing between the mirrors.

And so the dance began…

Naruto would swing, Kakuzu would dodge, and two to four senbon would be lodged in him somewhere. After a while, his arms, legs, and back were covered in needles. It amazed Naruto that the man hadn't slowed down more than he had, but this needed to be finished. Naruto threw the Kubikiri Houchou again, and Kakuzu dodged. The blonde then began to swing at him furiously with Hitsume-tipped claws, even as the sword was caught by a clone, and thrown straight back at the blonde. Naruto knew his opponent was tired and disoriented, and that was no doubt the only reason he could use Kawarimi on the man at all… either way, Naruto replaced himself with his opponent, just before the blade would've struck him, piercing his opponent's chest instead.

"I have to admit it, Kakuzu… you were one of the most difficult opponents I've ever faced. You deserved every bit of your rank." Just before the man let out his final breath, Naruto reached down, and pulled the ring off of the man's finger, and slid it onto his own. "And now this… is mine."

Naruto silently told one of his clones to dispel and notify the others that they should come to the bridge now. Haku was soundless as she made her way to the blonde. "Naruto-sama…?"

"Yes, Haku?" He answered.

"What… will become of me now?" She asked, her voice cracking in her sorrow.

He sighed. She shouldn't be this afraid of him… "How would you like to be my sister, Haku?" She blinked as he removed her mask, showing her teary eyes to the world.

"Wh-what?"

Naruto chuckled. "I need to rebuild my clan, Haku-chan… it'd be easier if I wasn't the only one in it…" He smiled warmly at her. "I'm wondering if you'd like to be inducted into my clan… if you want to be part of my family."

She couldn't keep standing any longer, collapsing in his arms and letting her tears flow. "Y-yes, I'd like that very much, Naruto-sama…"

Just as the other Genin and Tazuna's family arrived, a loud clapping was heard from behind the thick mist on the bridge. "Such a heart-warming scene! I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you all to die now…" Gato cheered happily, letting his thugs swarm around him. "Kill them all."

Naruto clutched Haku to his chest protectively, even as he knelt down onto the bridge. "You three… If you don't kill them, I will. Wipe them out… all of them."

The three nodded hesitantly before they and Naruto's remaining clones set to work. Tsunami knelt down beside the pair, worry in her eyes. "Naruto-kun?"

"Tsunami… hold Haku for me." Naruto mumbled, handing the girl off to the woman as he stood, hefting his sword onto his shoulder. "I need to go kill Gato now."

Said businessman was watching in horror as a bunch of kids slaughtered his mercenaries. He was backing away, readying his escape before he felt a chill behind him, and turned… The blonde stood there behind him ominously. "P-please, I'll give you anything! Money, women, power, anything!"

The blonde pointed his sword at the stubby little man, slowly lengthening its blade with wind chakra. "I have more than enough of each of those, thanks…" He said, before ramming the ethereal tip through the man's sternum.

--

When the carnage had run its course, the four ninja stood beside their clients and Haku, who was still holding onto Tsunami. "You all go on ahead… I'll clean up here." Naruto said, creating more clones to supplement the few that remained. "None of you should have to deal with this right now."

They all nodded, and started back for home. Naruto and his clones began picking up bodies and random parts, tossing them all into a pile about a half a mile away from the bridge. When they'd cleared it away, Naruto lit the entire pile on fire with a quick Goukakkyou. Naruto then sent his clones off to scrub the blood away from the stone of the bridge while he walked back to Tazuna's house.

While on his way there, he heard a high pitched mewling, and went to investigate it. What he found was a sickly kitten, only a few weeks old. How it could've possibly survived, he had no idea, but he couldn't leave it alone. It was probably looking for its mother… and Naruto smiled. He couldn't take it back to its own mother, but he could find it a new one. He knew Hinata was partial to cats, of course she'd love a kitten…

"Hey there little guy…" Naruto cooed, holding his hand out to the kitten. "Come on, I'm not going to hurt you…" The first thing the cat did was pounce on his hand, latching onto it with claw and fang. "Oww…" Naruto chuckled. The little guy must've been hungry… it didn't even look old enough for solid foods yet. Naruto felt a pang in his heart. "Come on, I'll take you home with me, and you'll be fed and given a nice name, wouldn't you like that?

The kitten stopped biting down on his hand, and looked up at him, mewing again. Naruto took this as its affirmative, and scooped it up in his arms. It just looked so tiny and frail… he nodded. He'd protect this little kitten, just like he'd protect Hinata and everyone else…

And so, he set off back to his temporary residence.

--

"Hey Tsunami!" Naruto yelled as he stepped through the doors. "We got any milk around here?"

The woman in question walked out of the kitchen, a half-dry plate in one hand, and a towel in the other. "Why do you ask, Naruto?" She asked, before a loud mew pierced the room, and Naruto showed the bundle in his arms to Tsunami. "Ohh, it's just adorable, Naruto! I'll be right back, I think we've got a little bit of milk left…" She said, rushing off back into the kitchen.

"You see?" Naruto asked, lightly scratching the top of the kitten's head. "I told you you'd be happy…"

"What's all the commotion about?" Tenten asked as she walked into the room. She was wearing clean clothes, and was currently drying her hair. Naruto always thought she looked better with her hair down.

"This little guy…" Naruto said, showing the kitten to Tenten.

She was at his side in an instant, reaching out to take the small creature from him. "It's so _cuuuuute_!" She cooed, holding it to her bosom. "What's his name? Is it a he? Where did you find him?" She asked, petting the kitten the entire time. It was purring loudly, and giving off the kitten equivalent of a bright smile.

"It doesn't have a name, and I'm not sure about what it is… he was just wandering around near the road. It was lucky I found him, huh?"

Tenten was heartily agreeing with him when Tsunami returned with a sake saucer and some milk. Filling it and setting it on the table, they set the kitten beside it, and cooed to it continuously. Naruto chuckled and started walking out of the room. "Don't try naming it, though… I'm going to give him to Hinata!"

Naruto couldn't help but laugh when he saw the both of them pout.

--

Eight days had passed, and it was finally the day to leave Wave country… everyone was sad to leave, or see their new friends off, but they had homes to go back to. Naruto walked up to Tsunami. "Don't worry, I'll tell you what… the Chuunin Exams are going to be in about a month, so why don't you three come to Konoha to watch, ne? I _am_ a clan head, y'know… I can get you some pretty sweet tickets, even this close to the event…"

Tsunami brightened instantly. "We'd be happy to come, Naruto-kun!"

"Great!" Naruto cheered. "The exams start in about three weeks, but the actual tournament part that spectators can watch is a month after that, so just show up in about a month. We stayed at your place this whole time, so you should feel free to crash at my place anytime you want!"

Tsunami wiped a tear from her eye and nodded. Naruto looked down when he felt a tug on his shirt. "Naruto-nii?" Inari pulled a little harder, and Naruto knelt down next to him. The boy then leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Are you planning on being my new dad?"

Naruto blinked and blushed slightly. He looked at the boy for a while, and then glanced at Tsunami, who was still smiling warmly. Obviously, she hadn't heard what her son had said. Naruto chuckled and patted the boy's head. "We'll see, kid… maybe." Inari nodded at that, and ran back to his mother.

"Heheh, kids these days have too much energy, y'know?" Tazuna grumbled, patting a firm hand on Naruto's shoulder while sporting a forced smile. "You'd best not be planning anything at this exam thing, boy…"

Naruto chuckled. "Me? Try something? You've got to be kidding y'old drunk!" The blonde swatted away the elder man's hand. "I've got to be going now…"

"Bye, Tenten-chan…" Tsunami said, hugging the young woman. "I'll see you in a month, okay?" There was a mew, and Tsunami gave the kitten in Tenten's arms a quick petting. "You too… I'll miss all of you."

"We'll miss you too, Tsunami-san…" Tenten replied.

And then they were off. Too soon, they were already in the distance, and then out of view. "So, what should we name the bridge?" Someone asked.

"Hmm, I know a GREAT name for it!" Tazuna yelled exuberantly.

"The Great Naruto Bridge…" Tsunami said wistfully.

"Tch, that's what I was going to say…" Tazuna scoffed.

Inari pulled on his mother's dress to get her attention. "Mom, I was wondering… is Naruto going to be my new dad?" Tsunami blushed while Tazuna sputtered in response. Several chuckles were heard from the crowd.

She knelt down and placed her hand softly on his shoulder. "We'll see, dear… okay?"

"Okay!" He cheered. He loved his old father dearly, but that didn't mean he couldn't want a new dad, right?

--

The group of five entered the Sandaime's office tentatively. Naruto wasn't exactly sure how the old man would react, but if it came to it, Naruto had some strings he could pull… "Hey, Ojii-chan…" He said with a wave.

"Hello Naruto, Tenten, Neji, Lee… and who is this?" He asked when he saw Haku.

Naruto took a calming breath. "This is Haku… she was working with the man hired to kill our client. She's at least Chuunin level, and wants to become a kunoichi here in Konoha." The Sandaime eyed her carefully. "And I want to make her a member of my clan."

Sarutobi's eyes widened slightly. "You didn't tell me that when you sent that Kage Bunshin last week…"

Naruto chuckled, and scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I wanted it to be a surprise?"

The old man smiled as he took a puff on his pipe. "Don't worry, Naruto… if that's what you want, I'll have my secretary find the paperwork for you. The both of you can come in tomorrow and fill them out." The Sandaime pressed a button on his desk, and gave a few commands through it. In truth, all he said were to find a few documents, but none of the people in the room could figure out which ones, since he'd used the key codes… "Now that that's settled, there is someone that wants to see you all…"

A large green blur erupted from the side room, crashing into the three Genin standing just behind Naruto. "YOSH MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS! TELL ME OF YOUR FIRST MISSION OUTSIDE OF MY GUIDANCE!"

"Gai, please stop crushing the Genin…" Sarutobi grumbled, and Gai let the three fall to the floor, all three taking in deep breaths.

"My apologies, my most youthful of students! I fear I may have harmed you in my exuberance, but I was just so worried!" Gai explained with teary eyes.

"They're fine, Gai…" Sarutobi sighed. "Now, tell me your opinion of how Naruto performed on this mission."

"Naruto-kun did great!" Tenten cheered. "He trained us, and he had a plan for everything. Even if the situation changed, he's just flow with it, and he even took down an A-Class missing-nin by himself!" Seeing the sad glint in Haku's eye, she turned to the girl and took her hand. "I'm sorry, Haku…"

"No, it's okay… everything you said was true…" She replied with a smile.

Lee nodded. "I concur with Tenten-san's assessment. After all, Naruto-sensei was able to subdue an S-Class missing-nin with only Haku-san's aid."

Gai's eyes widened. "What sort of mission were my Genin sent on, Hokage-sama!?"

"A C-rank escort mission that escalated into an A-rank due to shinobi involvement." The Hokage answered solemnly.

Gai nodded. It wasn't uncommon for missions to be ranked incorrectly. It wasn't even his team's first misranked mission, since they'd gotten that C-turned-B-rank almost half a year ago… but they'd returned to the village and thus, essentially failed the mission, even though they weren't required to complete anything that wasn't the appropriate rank. "Neji?" He asked, wanting to know what the stoic Hyuuga boy thought of the blonde.

"He performed… adequately in his leadership position." Neji answered in monotone.

Sarutobi smiled. "I see then… Naruto-kun, I believe this is yours now…" He said, pulling a flak vest from behind his desk. "By the authority of the office of Hokage, I hereby promote you to the rank of Chuunin. Congratulations."

Naruto took the vest in both hands, and nodded. "Thanks, Ojii-chan." Naruto then slid off his jacket, and put the Chuunin vest on, before replacing the outer clothing. Turning to the Genin, he gave off a wide smile. "So, how do I look?"

Tenten hopped up to him cheerfully. "You look great, Naruto-kun." A sharp mewl announced the waking of the kitten in Haku's arms, something both the Hokage and the Jounin had been wondering about. "Aww, we'd better get him home soon, huh?"

"Hmm? What do you mean, Tenten?" Gai asked when he saw the girl start dragging Naruto away by the hand.

The girl turned back to her teacher cheerfully. "Oh, I'm moving in with Naruto-kun!" She said before she finished dragging Naruto out into the hall, followed closely by Haku, leaving a gaping Sandaime and Gai behind.

"Gai-sensei…" Neji started, breaking the man from his shock. "Naruto-sensei said he wanted to continue training us, and asked us to notify you of it if he could not do so himself. His training methods are… unorthodox, but effective. I feel you would be proud of them."

Gai blinked before nodding. It wasn't that often that Neji spoke more than five words at once… "Yes, that would be fine… Now tell me of these training techniques!" He answered, his exuberance soon returning.

--

The three looked up at Naruto's home, the veritable mansion that it was… and sighed. This would be difficult to explain. And so, they walked up to the door, and Naruto opened it. "Hey, Anko-chan? Hinata-chan? I'm home!"

There were the sounds of many footsteps coming from the stairway, and then a large blur slammed into the blonde. "Naruto-kun! You're home!" Hinata cried.

"Yes I am, Hinata-chan, and I have some people I want you to meet…" Naruto said, looking between Hinata and Anko, who had just descended the stairs. "…well, you don't _look_ pregnant…" He mused.

"They say some women just don't show it until later." She retorted with a shrug.

"Anyway, this is Tenten and Haku… I'm making Haku a member of the clan, so she'll be sorta' like a sister to me and everyone, and Tenten…" Naruto trailed off.

"Yes, Naruto-kun…?" Hinata mumbled, backing away slightly. She didn't like where this was going.

"Tenten-chan… and I… you see… the thing is, I like her, and we were wondering if you minded… umm…" Naruto fumbled around with his words until Tenten lightly smacked him in the back of his head.

"Hi! I'm Tenten, can I date Naruto-kun?" She asked.

Hinata wanted to cry… wasn't she enough for Naruto? What did this girl have that she didn't? What could possibly possess Naruto to do this to her? Hinata started trembling, before she walked back to Anko, and whispered in her ear. Anko nodded somewhat sagely, and stepped up to the blonde boy…

…Before cocking her arm back and smashing it into his jaw, knocking him into the wall. "Damn, I'm getting rusty… that should've sent him through… maybe it's the whole 'pregnancy' thing?" She mused.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata whimpered, rushing to his side.

"She couldn't hit you, so she had me do it." Anko explained.

The blonde nodded. "Makes sense… that really hurt, by the way."

Anko slammed her fist into her palm. "It was _supposed_ to."

A loud mew broke the tension in the room as the kitten stared at Naruto. Hinata was up and beside Haku in an instant, with Anko sidling up next to them soon after. "Aww, it's so _cuuuute!_" Hinata cooed, scratching just under his chin while petting him with her other hand. "What's his name?"

"I was waiting for you to come up with one… He's yours, after all…" Naruto groaned as he picked himself up.

Hinata was glancing between Naruto and Haku, as if looking for confirmation of this. "It's true…" Tenten said. "He wouldn't let us name him, saying that it was your kitten…" Haku then held out her hands to let Hinata take the baby cat.

Hinata stared down at it for the longest time… and it stared right back. He was adorable in every way… he had mostly white fur, but several silvery grey stripes down his sides, originating at a central grey line down his spine and tail, with grayish ears and paws… and his ice-blue eyes were simply adorable…

"Shiro-chan!" Hinata called out finally, scooping the small animal into her bosom.

"I guess this means she forgives you…" Anko muttered.

Hinata then turned to Tenten with a huff. "You can date Naruto-kun, but if he brings home any more strange girls, there'll be hell to pay…"

"Yes, Hinata-chan…" Naruto nodded in submission.

"…And no sex for a week." Hinata continued, causing Tenten and Haku to gape.

"That goes for me, too." Anko concurred.

"Aww dammit…" Naruto groaned… he was still happy to be home, though.

* * *

_YES. _I _DID_ need to put that Palpatine quote in there, so MNEH! XP

And yes, I named the cat after Hitsugaya Toushiro (AKA Shiro-chan) from Bleach. It's an awesome name and an awesome character. I was going to ask for suggestions as far as the name went, but I figured, mneh… I'd best just name it m'self.

Shiro-chan is roughly based on one of my own cats. He's part Siamese, so his eyes are always blue, but he's a savage little thing… attacks anything that moves. (Shiro-chan isn't going to be like that) I believe my primary Beta (and best friend) wanted to have him named 'Shirosaki'…


	8. Chapter 8

Okay. I've tried. I really have. I just can't find the spark to write anymore. Maybe I'll pick it up again later, like when college isn't eating up all of my writing time anyway, but for now...

Consider this fic discontinued.

I know, I promised it'd get done, but hey... my GPA comes first.


End file.
